hemingway print with shotgun
Free Art Download: Ernest Hemingway with Shotgun

Free Art Download: Ernest Hemingway with Shotgun

Some guys put movie posters on their walls. Others have a picture of Hemingway holding a shotgun.

Guys don’t fill their apartments with schmancy art because of one reason. It’s expensive. We want to have a nice home, but not at the crazy price that it costs to buy a print of something we like, then having it matted and framed. It’s just not realistic at this point in our lives.

Most end the thought there. Can’t afford it. Can’t do it. But that’s lazy – A little creativity goes a looooong way when it comes to making your home your own on a budget.

I recently stumbled across a company selling cool, old black and white prints of manly things, but the prices were outrageous. One of them was a framed print of Ernest Hemingway holding a shotgun. I thought, “that picture must be on the internet,” and a Google search for “Ernest Hemingway shotgun” with the size filter on ‘large’ provided just what I was looking for.

It turns out that this photo that was being sold for a crazy price, is actually in the public domain, and stored in the National Archives. I downloaded it off of Wikipedia, adjusted the size and levels, and had it printed for…40 cents. I’ve included a download link below, and you can follow my steps in creating a framed and matted print for less than $6.

If you’ve ever framed something, you know how crazy the prices can be for not only the frame, but the matte – the thick white cardboard with a square cut out in the middle. To get past the cost of the matte, I’ve built it into the downloadable image. The image of Hemingway is surrounded by a 1.5 inch white border.

The frame is a black frame from Wal-Mart that sells for only $5. They’ve had them for years, and I just saw them last weekend, so if you have a hard time finding them when you’re there, keep looking (or ask) because they’re there. The image is created to fit in a 11′x14′ frame, as pictured above.

To download, click on the link below, then click on “File” and “Download”.

Step 1: Print It

I had it printed at Staples because they allow you to do it all online, and they’ll e-mail you when it’s ready to pick up. You can print it anywhere if you have large enough paper.

Go to the Staples Copy and Print Center site and choose “Copy and Print Services.” From the options listed, choose ‘Black and White’. When the applet opens, upload the picture by clicking on the Add Files link.

Once finished, click on “Media” and choose “67lb Card White 11×17 – Ledger (Cover/Resume)”. Since 11×14 (the size of our image) is a standard frame size, but not a standard print/paper size, we have to print it on 11×17 paper. The downloadable image includes cut lines on the top and bottom so that it fits in the frame. Continue to checkout and be amazed that it’s only 40 cents.

Step 2: Frame It

Go find the $5 frame at Wal-Mart, or if you don’t have access to one, any 11×14 frame will do. Trim the print on the top and bottom lines, and insert into the frame. I used steel wool on the wood to add a distressed quality to it. Pour yourself a scotch and marvel at your cool, cheap, art.

Andrew is the founder and editor of Primer. He's a graduate of American University and currently lives in Los Angeles. Read more about Primer on our About page.

  • Colby

    Awesome idea. I used yours as a template for a Townes Van Zandt photo. 

  • jbird669

    Getting this when I click on it:

    Google Docs
    error

    This error has been reported to Google and we’ll
    look into it as soon as possible.Please try one of these interim
    solutions:

    Reload this page.

    Download the document by right-clicking on it in the main document list and
    selecting “Export.”To discuss this or other issues, visit the Google
    Docs Help Forum. To see the list of known problems, check the Google Docs Known Issues page.

    • http://www.primermagazine.com/ Andrew

      Hey Jbird, give it a try now, it’s working on my end. If you’re still having the issue, try logging out of your gmail account.

      • http://www.facebook.com/logandeezy Logan Greer

        I’m receiving this error notification as well.  Logged out of Gmail, still not working.

        • Adam

          I got the error too. I just x’ed out of the error pop-up and was able to download it with no issue.

  • Matt

    Very cool.  Also, very morbid if you think about it – Hemingway blew his brains out with a shotgun.  

    • Shh

      This was the “Before” picture. The “After” picture wasn’t family-friendly.

  • davis

    Anyone have a good resource for finding more free images like this? 

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_DST4ISCKSZ4GRZQSL7IJVU53EE Nel

    I also saw this exact same photo in my inbox for $200+ and thought the same thing. You took it to the next step by finding the image. Thanks Andrew!

  • tommyboy

    This is great, this should be a weekly thing

  • TJ

    I’m not very versed in photography or photo editing. How does one “adjust the size and levels” to make sure it is a high quality pic that will print out and look nice? Can I just find a high res picture on the internet and have that printed out? And how does one build in the matte?

  • http://www.facebook.com/adam.barnathan Adam Barnathan

     Awesome idea. In the process of doing this now. Can you give a quick tutorial on how you actually edited and adjusted the picture? Thanks

    • http://www.primermagazine.com/ Andrew

      Hey Adam & TJ,

      Here’s what I did.

      1. Create a new image that is 11″x14″. Use the editing programs rulers to create 1.5″ margins.

      2. Select the inside square created at the intersection of the 4 margins.  This selection represents the ‘hole’ of the matte. To create the matte, we need to select the opposite of what we currently have selected. In Photoshop, go to Select > Inverse. The 1.5″ matte area is now selected. Create a new layer, and fill the selection with white. The matte is now created.

      3. Find the image you want to use. Search Google for your image, making sure it’s very large. If you try to blow up a picture and print it, it will look pixely and soft. 

      4. Open the image in Photoshop, and drag the image to our other image with the matte. Place the layer with the image below the matte layer. 

      5. Adjust the size and framing of the picture below the matte until it’s the composition you want. 

      6. Adjust the levels. “Levels” is the adjustment of black, gray, and white. If you drag the sliders closer together, it makes more gray things black on the low end, and more gray things white on the high end. At the very extreme, placing the levels sliders in the middle would create a stark black and white image.  Adjust them until the image has a nice deep contrast between black and white. This is important since we’re having it printed economically. These prints tend to be very gray and dull anyway. 

      7. Make any other adjustments you’d like.

      8. Print it.

      9. ???

      10. Profit.

      • TJ

        Is there any other program that I could use to do this besides photoshop? Anything that you know that is free? I’d really like to do this with a pic of Frank Sinatra.

        • http://www.primermagazine.com/ Andrew

          You can try Gimp, it’s similar to Photoshop and free.

          • TJ

             Thanks! I will try it and see how it works out.

          • CC

            FotoFlexer is great as well. You can add boarders and change images on their website without having to log in or even downloading a program. Plus it’s very easy to use.

  • jbird669

    To illustrate this point, Huckberry is selling this photo as a sonic edition for $260.

  • Bryan LaFonte

    Great post! I’m heading to Staples to pick up my print tonight after work. I’ll let you know how it turns out

  • TJ

    What brand is the frame?

    • http://www.primermagazine.com/ Andrew

      It’s a $5 Wal-mart frame.

      • TJ

         I understand that but do you remember specifically what brand it is at Walmart? I didn’t see it at the one I went to today, I may have to check some of the other ones in town.

        • http://www.primermagazine.com/ Andrew

          Oh sorry! No, unfortunately I don’t. They’re usually on a mid aisle stand, maybe near electronics or near home goods.

          • TJ

            Found one. Thanks!

            Ignore the wall color, temporary living situation. Also, I didn’t copy you with the bulleit bottle. I really did already have one there.

          • http://www.primermagazine.com/ Andrew

            Looks awesome!!

  • Ricardo

    Awesome. This should be a recurring type of post!

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  • SolefulStrut

    I like that wine bottle wrapped in twine.  How did you adhere it to the bottle, glue gun?

    • http://www.primermagazine.com/ Andrew

      Sorry for the late reply. Yep, just twine, hot glue the end when starting, wrap it, and secure the other end.

  • http://twitter.com/Sklib Patrick H.

    I tried sending this to Staples to print and they said they couldn’t do it because it was a copyrighted image. Weird

    • http://www.primermagazine.com/ Andrew

      That’s weird because a) I’m impressed they know what it is and b) it’s in the public domain

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  • Agatha

    This is kind of sad, because Ernest killed himself with a shotgun.

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  • Erick

    Just created mine! I found a nice $7 wooden frame at TJ Maxx (org. price $25.00) and used my company’s color printer and card stock when no one was looking haha

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  • Pedro VanPeter

    Hello Ladies, Please Take A Few Minutes And Enjoy My True Stories About
    The Wonderful World Of Key Lime Pies As Well As The Magic Of The Most
    Beautiful And Gorgeous…“Mrs. Anita Pelaez”… Wife Extraordinaire And
    The Beauty Queen Of The Key Lime Pie World….“Oh”, What An Honor That
    Must Be….

    Elwood Blues Here,

    “AAHHH”, Yes, May Each One Of You Enjoy
    Your Very Own Key Lime Pie Baked by The Lovely And Most Gracious,…Mrs.
    Anita Pelaez and Her Handsome And Dashing Husband ….The World Famous
    Deep Sea Underwater Diver And Treasure Explorer And Hunter
    Extraordinaire Captain Kutchie Pelaez…Together The Proud Owners Of
    Asheville’s Own …”Anita And Kutchie Pelaez’s Key Lime Pie Factory And
    GRILL, Conveniently Located Near The Biltmore House And Estate In That
    Beautiful City. That’s Known As Heaven On Earth Whenever Mrs. Anita
    Pelaez Is Anywhere Near… “AAHHH”,.. The Magic Of Anita Pelaez And Her
    KEY LIME Pies… Voted The Country’s Favorite Key Lime Pies For The Past
    37 Consecutive Years!

    …..That Babe Can Bake Me A Pie Anytime She Wants Too.

    For You Guys, Listen Up Here!
    Turn
    You’re Ladies On In Extra High Heat Mode “Easily”, Just By Seducing Her
    With
    “Anita Pelaez’s”… Ultra-Sexy Key Lime Pies!..You Know The Pies That
    Her And Her Famous Husband Kutchie Have Been Baking The For Last
    40-Years Over At Their Key Lime Pie Factory Near the Biltmore House and
    Estate In NC.,..Yeah, That’s The Ones, You Dirty Minds! (Shame On You.)

    Anita’s World Famous Key Lime Pies Will Light Her Candle And Make
    Her
    Hard To Handle. Guaranteed That She Will Get A-Hold Of You’re Handle
    Too….Your Boy Elwood Here Says,….”AAHHH”, The Magic Of Anita Pelaez
    ..And Her Key Lime Pies!

    “Yeah”, You’ll Be “AAHHH-ING” Too!…So Put Your Faith In Anita’s Pies.
    In Other Words… “Keep The Faith Baby”.

    Part-Two

    Is
    what they are all saying true about how eating those World Famous Key
    Lime Pies Baked In The Carolina Mountains By The Former Miss Florida USA
    And High Fashion And Swimsuit Model …”Mrs. Anita Pelaez”, ….Surely
    Everyone Has Heard Or Read By Now That Consuming Her Wonderful Key Lime
    Pies Has The Ability To Cause The Male Penis Length To Increase 50% Or
    More. And The Girth Of The Erect Male Penis To Increase To Six-Inches
    AROUND!….”WOW”, And Add To The Fact That Her Pies Have Been Known To
    Make Males Multiorgasmic /One Orgasm One After Another With Little Or No
    Reflationary Period In Between Ejaculations Is Nothing Short Of
    Awesome!. Why, It’s A Miracle If You Ask Me.. “HELL” It’s A Miracle If
    You Don’t Ask Me!..Anyway, You Can Count Me In On That,… That’s For Damn
    Sure!,….Mrs. Anita Pelaez Is Surely The Undisputed Queen Of Key Lime
    Pies That’s For Sure……

    Yes, There Was A Time For Decadent Key Lime Pies. Pies made And
    Baked With Love And Caring With The Original Family Recipe Just Like
    Grand-Ma And Grand-Pa Baked Back In The 1920′S In Old Key West. And Do
    You Know What?….That Time Is Now At…..”Anita and Kutchie Pelaez’s” Key
    Lime Pie Factory And Grille’, Conveniently

    Located In Asheville, NC., Near The Biltmore House And Estate….Yes The
    First Lady Of Key Lime Pies,..”Mrs. Anita Pelaez” Named Her Latest
    Book..“For You’re Pies Only”.

    …Count Us In Darling, Sweetheart, Please Wrap-Us Up A Dozen Pies

    To-Go!…We’re Gettin The Band Back Together……………..
    Thanks,….Elwood.

    I Know That Your Not Going To Believe This When You First Read It.
    Don’t Worry, I Didn’t Believe It Either At First. My Dear Wife Insisted

    Or As She Said, That She Was Going To Cut Me Off. Now I Like My Nooky As
    Well As Anybody But When She Starts talking About Cutting Me Off. Well,
    Lets Just Make A Long Story Short, If You Want To Continue Eating At
    The (Y), Then You Had Better Listen To What Mama Is Whispering Into Your
    Ear. Get The Damn Pies, Enjoyed Them With The Little Lady And Die A
    Happy Man. End Of Story.

    People, If You Want To Have A Lot More Sex, And Who Doesn’t? Then
    You Need To Start Eating A Lot More Of Anita And Kutchie Pelaez’s Key
    Lime Pies! They Work Every Darn Time!

    …One Eyed Willie…Smooth Willie…Be Good Willie!…Elwood Blues…Darling,..Don’t Go Breaking My Heart!

    Honey, What’s the number to the Key Lime Pie Factory?…We’re Out Again!

    The
    World Famous Captain Kutchie Pelaez Of Key West. “Kutcharitaville”.
    Fame Was Recently Spotted Down In Old Town Key West At Sloppy Joe’s Bar
    Partying With His Old Compadres,…Captain Yankee Jack Of The Bull
    Fame,…Micheal McCloud Of Schooner’s Wharf Fame…Captain Tony
    Tarracino Of His Own Saloon Fame,…Jimmy Buffett Of Margarativille
    Fame,…Captain Teri Levi Of Lum’s Fame,…Missing Was The Late Great
    Mel Fisher….Also Missing Was The Late Great Treasure Hunter Captain
    Roger Burleson And The Late Great Roger “Moon Dog” Turner.,..The Famous
    Group Of Compadres Were Said To Be Drinking Doubles And Causing Just
    Lots Of Some Mild-Kind Of Troubles, But Nothing The Waitresses Couldn’t
    Handle. It Seems That All Of The Team Mates Were Wearing…”Captain
    Kutchie T-Shirts!…We Were Wondering Where They Might Have Gotten Those
    T-Shirts?…”HUMM” You Don’t Think It Was From…..?.?.?………

    Kinda Like Captain Kutchie Says… “I Bet You Can’t Say Happiness With Out Saying Penis”.

    I Guess No Key Lime Pie Story Would Be Complete Without Saying,
    “AAHHH”, The Magic Of Anita Pelaez And Her Key Lime Pies…

    You Know-…It’s No Wonder That She’s America’s Sweet Heart!

  • TimothyR

    Picking up this, along with the bulletproof, and the RAF haircut. My wall is about to be much more manly.

  • Jake Carson

    I sure hope that this will be a great opportunity for everyone to

    see some of “Don’s Scenes” from his productions of his classic hits

    “Tales From Kutcharitaville”. You know that Rickles and Johnny Carson

    together produced those comedy hits about their friend “Mr. Kutchie

    Pelaez” and their wild and crazy exploits of Kutchie’s Key West and The

    World of Key Lime Pies from the perspective of (Johnny Carson, Don

    Rickles, Kutchie Pelaez and Steve Martins Eyes!) What a Hoot Those

    Classic Hits Surely Were. Don’t miss them, be sure to tune-in next

    month. We Laughed Until We Cried Watching Those Funny Movies. “The Tales

    From Kutcharitaville”, I Think That They May Still Be Available In A

    Boxed Set. Maybe Try Amazon. Good Luck.

    You Know, It’s No Wonder That Everyone Calls “Captain Kutchie

    Pelaez”..The Most Interesting Man In The World! Did You Know That

    Kutchie Drinks Those Wonderful Mixed Drinks Named In His Honor Called

    “Kutcharitas”.?. There A Hell Of A Lot Better Than Any Mexican Beers.

    And Much Stronger To Boot!

    ….That Sunken Ship In The News These Days,

    ….It’s Been Resting Down On The Bottom Of The Sea Since Way Back In

    1867, “Mel Fisher” Even Overlooked This One! “Yankee Jack and Micheal

    McCloud Now Have Reason To Write Another Song.

    ….Hell We Can’t Find A Boeing 777 That’s Been Lost Only A Little Over

    A Month! Could It Be Because The Jet Had No Silver and Gold Aboard,

    Just People?….Go Figure……

    ….Good Thing That All The ….(“Anita And Kutchie Pelaez’s Key West Key

    Lime Pie Shops”)..Are All Showing Increasing Pie Sales Throughout All

    They’re Areas Of Distribution. Consumers Just Never Seem To Reach

    They’re Fill Of Those “Yummy Key Lime Pies” That The “Peleaz’s Working

    Partner Team” Continues To Produce. They Have Been Called “Love At First

    Bite”. Everyone Agrees, That The Loving Couple Have Been Baking They’re

    Culinary Delectables Over 40-Years Now!….Isn’t She

    Wonderful?….”AAAHHHH”, The Magic Of The Gorgeous “Mrs. Anita Pelaez”

    Well She Is Something Else!….

    ….Who The Hell Does That “Kutchie Pelaez” Think That He Is?….”Frankie Valli” Or Someone Like That?

    ….It’s No Wonder That People Are All Calling Him “The Most Interesting Man In The World”,…Big Girls Don’t Cry…Do They?….

    ….Don’t Cha Just Love Em!?….We Sure Do!….

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  • Ron Macoon

    I apologize in advance if this is a silly question, but what exactly are the rules when it comes to getting prints made by Staples and the like of stuff you find on the internet? I know you’re good at finding sites (like that big map site) that encourage downloads and prints, but at what point might I run into a wall just going wild on a google image search??

    • http://www.primermagazine.com/ Andrew

      Most won’t care. Not sure if it’s even breaking any rules if you’re doing it for personal use.

    • Dan

      I’ve actually run into this issue at staples once before, in trying to print the large map project that Andrew posted up sometime last year (I believe).

      I found a large format map of Boston, assuming it was an open-source file, but I got a call from Staples a few days later asking me to resubmit a new file, as the one I had submitted was copyrighted. I ended up forgetting about it and wound up just having a company that sells large format posters send me a different but similar one for about $30. The snafu is that Staples never refunded the money (I can only assume they’re still tearfully waiting by the phone, hoping for me to call and not just gleefully pocketing my money…), so I guess they made a free ~10 bucks off me.

      To answer your question though: you MAY run into an issue with copyrighting, but they will let you know if there’s an issue and as long you follow up, you’ll be able to get SOMETHING printed, even if it’s not your first choice. Also engineering/CAD format printers would work if you access to that sort of thing.

      • Ron Macoon

        Thanks Dan! yeah I definitely shouldve made more friends in the architecture department while in school, if nothing else for the giant printer access

  • http://www.heathergreenphoto.com Heather Green

    Being a photographer, I’ve always printed things for myself or clients at Millerspro…I’ve heard about printing at Staples and never tried it. Ran across your free print blog posts (via pinterest) and figured I’d give it a try, especially since you went through the details of how to order one. I thought, for the price it was worth testing it out and I’ve been wanting to do a black and white wall art collage. I ordered several of your prints and just got them last night. I didn’t read the comments on this blog post till just now so was surprised to find that some had issues with Staples mentioning copyright. I didn’t have any problems, but it’s nice to see that Staples is at least trying to ‘do the right thing’. I printed out the Hemmingway, the RAF pilot haircut (because I wanted to see how color would do), Cape Canaveral, the camera patent, the Thomas Edison quote, and the ship of war. They all printed beautifully, the paper used is amazing, I was very impressed and can now see why Staples printing is so popular. I’ll attach an iphone pic of the prints, ignore the white balance in this image, all of the paper the prints are on is white, not yellowish…the only space large enough to hold them all for a photo was my kitchen table and the lighting is wonky in there. Oh and THANK YOU! :D

    • http://www.primermagazine.com/ Andrew

      Awesome! So glad it worked out for you. Thanks for sharing the photo!!

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  • Jennie McMasters

    .….”Captain Kutchie” Never Makes Up Stories But If He Did

    It Would Probably Be About As Good As The One That You Are About To

    Read Next!…..You Believe That?….

    ….Add “Captain Kutchie Pelaez” To Make This The All-Time Greatest Film Ever Made!….

    …Could..“Clint” Eastwood. Possibly Be Competing With “Captain Kutchie
    Pelaez” For The Position Of “The World’s Most Interesting
    Man”…Perhaps?…But Then Again Perhaps He Is Just Waiting For “Kutchie
    Pelaez and Frankie Valli” To “Make His Day”!…Ha, Go Figure!….

    ….We Heard A Few Years Back That

    Megyn Kelly Of Fox News, Really Loved Her Some Of Captain Kutchie’s And
    Anita Pelaez’s Famous Key Lime Pies! Could That Make Megyn “The Most
    Interesting Lady In The World?….I Guess “NO” On That One, That One Would
    Have To Be “The Lovely –Mrs. Anita Pelaez” The Queen Of The Key Lime
    Pie World!

    ….I sure hope that this will be a great opportunity for

    everyone to see some of “Don Rickle’s Scenes” from his productions of

    his classic hits “The Tales From Kutcharitaville”. You Do know that Don

    Rickles and Johnny Carson together produced those comedy hits about

    their friend “Mr. Kutchie Pelaez” and their wild and crazy exploits of

    Kutchie’s Key West and The World of Key Lime Pies from the perspective
    of (Johnny Carson, Don Rickles, Kutchie Pelaez and Steve Martins Eyes!)
    What a Hoot Those Classic Hits Surely Were. Don’t miss them, be sure to
    tune-in next month. We Laughed Until We Cried Watching Those Funny
    Movies. “The Tales From Kutcharitaville”, I Think That They May Still Be
    Available In A Boxed Set. Maybe Try Amazon. Good Luck With That….

    You Know, It’s No Wonder That Everyone Calls “Captain Kutchie
    Pelaez”..The Most Interesting Man In The World! Did You Know That
    Kutchie Drinks Those Wonderful Mixed Drinks Named In His Honor Called
    “Kutcharitas”.?.

    There A Hell Of A Lot Better Than Any Mexican Beers. And Much Stronger
    To Boot!…You Could Almost Hear The Song Now…”Wasting Away Again In
    Kutcharitaville”.!…What Do Ya Think? Not Bad Ahh!…

    ….That Sunken Ship In The News These Days,

    ….It’s Been Resting Down On The Bottom Of The Sea Since Way Back In
    1857, “Mel Fisher” Even Overlooked That One!… “Yankee Jack Pittorino”
    and “Micheal McCloud” Now Have Reason To Write Another
    Song…(Hint-Hint-Hint) “Jack” Listen-Up Here!

    ….Hell, We Can’t Find A Boeing 777 That’s Been Lost Only A

    Little Over A Few Months Now! Could It Be Because The Jet Had No Silver and Gold Aboard, Just People?….Go Figure……

    ….Good Thing That All The ….(“Anita And Kutchie Pelaez’s Key West Key
    Lime Pie Shops”)..Are All Showing Increasing Pie Sales Throughout All
    They’re Areas Of Distribution. Consumers Just Never Seem To Reach
    They’re Fill Of Those “Yummy Key Lime Pies” That The “Peleaz’s Working
    Partner Team” Continues To Produce. They Have Been Called “Love At First
    Bite”.

    .Everyone Agrees, That The Loving Couple Have Been Baking They’re

    Culinary Delectables Over 40-Years Now!….

    Isn’t She Wonderful?….”AAAHHHH”, The Magic Of The Gorgeous “Mrs. Anita
    Pelaez” Well She Is Something Else!…Honey, She’s The Real Thing Baby!….

    ….Who The Hell Does That “Kutchie Pelaez” Think That He Is?….”Frankie Valli” Or Some Big-Shot Like That?

    ….It’s No Wonder That People Are All Calling Him “The Most Interesting Man In The World”,…Big Girls Don’t Cry…Do They?….

    ….Don’t Cha Just Love Em!?….We Sure Do!….It is A Well Known Fact That
    “Captain Kutchie Pelaez” Knows Who Put The Bomp In The Bomp Shoo Bomp
    Shoo Bomp And The Rama In The Rama Lama Ding Dong!.

    ….He Even Knows Who Put The Dip In The Dip Da Dip Da Dip!…How Cool Is That?….

    ….”Frankie Valli and Kutchie Pelaez”..Did Make-It As Big As “Frank Sanatra”.

    ….”Yeah” A Few Wise Guys They Certainly Were “Frankie Valli, Kutchie
    Pelaez and Joe Pesci”!….Together “The Gang That Couldn’t Shoot
    Straight”!…..

    ….Mafiosi Wanna-Bee’s. The Key Lime Pie “Wild Bunch”. They’ve Got
    Everyone Shaking In They’re Flip-Flops!….”Even “Jimmy Buffet” Doesn’t
    Know Where It’s Safe To Hide-Out”!….Especially Since Everyone Found-Out
    That “Captain Kutchie Pelaez” Was The One Who First Came-Up With The
    “Goody Goody”…“The Original Cheese Burgers In Paradise” And Kutchie’s
    Buddy. “Levi Stubbs”. Of The “Four Tops” Helped Him Name Them Way Back
    In The Early 70?s.

    ….Eli Wallach, Be Careful, Don’t Eat The “Cannoli’s”!…They’re Killer Man!….

    ….I’d Give My Left “Nut” To Set Down With “Captain Kutchie Pelaez,
    Frankie Valli, Terry Levi, Joe Pesci, Bob Gaudio, Bob Crewe, Paul
    Shaffer, Bob De Niro, Tommy DeVito, Martin Scorsese, Clint East Wood,
    Bob Newhart And Yankee Jack Pittorino”! Rub Elbows And Shoot The Shit
    With That Whole Crew Of “Good Fellows” Or “Wise Guys” Or Whatever The
    Hell You Want To Call Them!….”Who Wouldn’t”?….

    ….I Believe That “Kutchie” First Sang “My Eyes Adored You” And “Can’t
    Take My Eyes Off Of You” To His Lovely Bride “Anita” Way Back In The
    Seventies! ….Sounds Like A Love Story To Us!

    ….A Very Good Yarn! “You” “You’re Good You”….

    ….That “Captain Kutchie” Always Lands Back On His Feet. No Matter How
    Tough The Situation Is He Always Comes Back Up On The Top Of The Heap,
    King Of The Hill! Everyone Knows That! Never Count The Captain Out No
    Matter How Down The Chips May..Appear!…… Remember That He Is Not Only
    “The World Famous Captain Kutchie Pelaez” But Please Keep In Mind That
    “Captain Kutchie” Is Also Considered “The Most Interesting Man In The
    World”!….Why Else Would Everyone Be Talking About Him And His
    Adventurous Wild And Crazy World Exploits, Treasure Hunting And
    Exploring, The Megalodon Teeth And Oh All Those Giant Reptile
    Exploits?…To Say “The Dude” Really Has Balls Is Quite An Understatement
    To Say The Least!….

    ….His Drop Dead Gorgeous Wife “Anita”

    And They’re Famous Key Lime Pies!….They’re World Famous Historic Key
    West Kutcharitaville Key Lime Pie Factory and Grill, Home Of The Famous
    “Goody Goody” Cheese Burgers In Paradise!….All Conveniently Located In
    NC Near The Famous “Biltmore House And Estate!….

    ….Yeah, You’re Good You. No You’re “DAMN GOOD YOU”….

    ….Also Add “The Two Yutes”….”What’s A Yute”? You Might Ask. Just Ask “Yankee Jack”…..

    …Marriage

    Lasts Forever and Ever, Two People Become One! A Covenant Between A
    Husband, His Wife And The Lord “Jesus” The Christ! Marriage, The Same
    Yesterday Today Tomorrow And Forever More! True Love Never Changes! Just
    Ask “Captain Kutchie Pelaez” He Knows!….That What The Lord Puts
    Together Can Never Be Broken!…

    …..That “Captain Kutchie” Really Knows His Stuff. He’s Mind Blowing To Say The Least!…

    ….”Captain Kutchie” Never Kisses Ass But If He Did Kiss An Ass It Would
    Probably Be His Beautiful Wife’s Ass!….You Go “Captain Kutchie”!….

    ….”Captain Kutchie”, You Put You’re Cloth’s Back On, “You”!….

    ….Who Dat, Dat Say “Who Dat” Every Time Dat I Say Who Dat, “Who Dat”?….

    ….Nobody Be Done Does It Better Than The “Captain Kutchie” Be Done Did!….

    ….At A Time Like This, I Can’t Help But Think, What Would “Captain Kutchie” Say?….

    ….Yeah, With They’re Olive Oil Voice And Guinea Charm, The Damn Dago Wop
    Grease-Ball Goombahs Are Out To Steal Everyone’s Grease! The
    Scumbags!….That’s Probably What Captain Kutchie Might Say!…

    ….Anita and Captain Kutchie Pelaez’s Key Lime Pies Are Really As Good As
    Everyone Says They Are. The Proof Is In The Pudding, They’re That Damn
    Good!….

    ….With “Anita’s and Kutchie’s” World Famous Key Lime Pies You Will Always Eat, Drink and Be Murray!

    ….”Captain Kutchie” Of Key Lime Pie Fame Always Told Me “Keep You’re Friends Close But Keep You’re Enemies Closer”.

    ….123-testing-123…,.ok,

    that’s a go!….ok….go…….please go away now!……go to your room now!….well

    if you don’t go now, i will!….bye-bye….i am gone now, you can stop

    reading, cause i am gone……i am really gone now!

    ….i can’t believe that you are still reading this! you believe that?

    ….i can’t believe that we ate that whole key lime pie!…

    ….Since
    “Rooms To Go” did good, maybe the “Pelaez’s” should change their name to
    “Key Lime Pies To Go”, Yeah-What Do You-All Think? Is That A

    Go?……go to your room now!….BYE!….

    ….With “Captain Kutchie” It Is Known As “The Battle Of The Bulge”!….,

    ….Ain’t It A Kick In The Head?…..Damn Straight It Is!….
    ….I Saw Captain Kutchie’s Dick Before…”OMG!!!”……Oh My, It’s A Nice One Too!…I Can’t Wait To Get It Back In My Mouth, YUM!…

    ….Oh And Kutchie’s Great Cheese Burgers In Paradise, The World’s First Ones And Still The Best!….