It’s been said, though we’re not sure by who, that it is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. But sometimes we’ve got to open our mouths so use this handy guide to make sure, at the very least, you’re saying the words right.
Don’t worry, I won’t waste your time with the elementary school lessons about how to accurately pronounce “library,” “February,” or “arctic”… although I will take this opportunity to note that if you’re discussing a library and still dropping the first ‘R’, there’s a very good chance that your friends and/or colleagues are laughing at you behind your back.
I won’t trouble you with a lecture covering how some of the words you use actually aren’t words at all. If you’re using words like “snuck”, “brang”, or “irregardless” (no, none of those are real words), a magazine article – much less one written by me – is not going to solve your problems.
What I will do is offer up a rudimentary form of help, in terms of how to properly pronounce relatively common words that are bound to show up in your daily life. These tips will not seal the deal in a job interview or on a date (I can especially vouch for the “date” scenario) but if pronunciation continues to be a potential chink in your armor, your problems will soon be solved.
Thus, behold, People of the Internet… the ten most important words you should learn to pronounce, if you would like to appear reasonably knowledgeable about your own language.
ATHLETE
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Incorrect pronunciation: ath – a – leet
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Correct pronunciation: ath – leet
This may have been more helpful before the media blitz that was the Summer Olympics but it is a very valuable lesson to have for the future. It applies to “athlete” and any derivative (biathlon, triathlon, decathlon, etc.) and, honestly, I’m sad that I even have to point this out: there is no vowel between the ‘H’ and the ‘L’ in any of these words. There never has been. Let the dream die.
ESCAPE / ESPRESSO / ET CETERA
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Incorrect pronunciation: ex – cape / ex – presso / ex – set – err – uh
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Correct pronunciation: ess – cape / ess – presso / ett – set – err – uh
Yes, a three-for-one deal, but only because this one is dually very common and very simple to fix. For some reason, we of the English tongue have an obsession with changing any ‘S’ to an ‘X’, if it follows an ‘E’ sound; call it the Exxon Indoctrination. These words are spelled phonetically… let’s try to respect that.
Also: the yuppie kids will really respect you, if you master “espresso” and “et cetera” – what more motivation do you need?
NUCLEAR
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Incorrect pronunciation: nuke – you – lerr
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Correct pronunciation: new – clee – err
I’m going to try to get through this one without a President Bush joke. All right, so, despite the fact that it’s 2008, this is a word with which we’re somehow still struggling. Like most of the words on this list, “nuclear” is spelled EXACTLY AS IT IS SUPPOSED TO BE PRONOUNCED and yet, people continue to screw it up worse than the War in Iraq… oh, dammit.
PRESCRIPTION / PREROGATIVE
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Incorrect pronunciation: purr – scrip – shun / purr – ogg – uh – tiv
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Correct pronunciation: pre – scrip – shun / pre – rogg – uh – tiv
Overlooking the fact that many people also seem to have precisely no idea as to the latter word’s true definition (I’ve had several conversations where people bizarrely substitute “prerogative” for words like “agenda”), this is another problem that can be attributed to ignorance in the arena of “Sound It Out, You Lummox.” The ‘R’ comes before the ‘E’ in both of these words. Please ercognize this erality. Sorry.
UTMOST
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Incorrect pronunciation: up – most
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Correct pronunciation: utt – most
In a bizarre twist, people actually became so certain of this word’s meaning that they alter its pronunciation to reflect that definition. Yes, “utmost” is an adjective synonymous with “greatest” (a term that immediately calls to mind some tangible Mount Olympus-type of vertical hierarchy and the word “upper”) but that second letter? It’s still a ‘T’.
CANDIDATE
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Incorrect pronunciation: can – uh – dett
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Correct pronunciation: can – da – dett
Mastering this word will help you at least sound educated in your excruciating political debates as we approach November 3. I cannot explain it any more simply than my second grade teacher once did: “You always want to have a good candidate for your CANDY DATE.” Candy date. It’s sweet and simple.
SHERBET
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Incorrect pronunciation: sherr – berrt
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Correct pronunciation: sherr – bet
This is one of those words that ultimately had to abandon its crusade for righteousness and now has been corrupted to the point where dictionaries may list the incorrect pronunciation as acceptable because of just how rampant the ignorance grew to be. But there’s only one ‘R’ in “sherbet,” America… no matter how awesome the rainbow flavor is, there’s still only one ‘R’.
AWRY
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Incorrect pronunciation: aww – ree
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Correct pronunciation: uh – rye
Up until very recently, I could not even conceive a situation where someone would mispronounce this word; it always seemed very simple, to me. However, I have heard three different people – in the world of talk radio, no less – pronounce it inaccurately in the last few months. It’s like… it’s like the mechanism that allows people to speak in an educated fashion went awry (see what I did there?).
FOR ALL INTENTS AND PURPOSES
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Incorrect pronunciation: “for all intensive purposes”
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Correct pronunciation: “for all intents and purposes”
All right, yes, I cheated a little bit here (for posterity’s sake, I should note that a phrase and a word are not the same thing) but this is still a very popular pronunciation mistake and one that I really feel must be addressed in a public forum. While “intensive” is absolutely a word, the clichéd saying that most people are trying to channel is all about intent. As for the rumor that I, as a younger man, frequently employed the incorrect pronunciation… no comment.
OFTEN
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Incorrect pronunciation: off – ten
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Correct pronunciation: off – en
If there is a bigger red flag for “I am misinformed about how to pronounce something” in our language, I have yet to encounter it. This word and its evolutionary course in American vernacular could be a cultural study unto itself.
For a while, nobody was aware that the ‘T’ was silent; this sneaky caveat had to be beaten into our brains for years and years in school. But then – in what can best be described as the greatest grammatical epiphany since someone decided that we needed a conjunction to turn “I am” into a single word – people seemed to universally scream out “We get it! A silent ‘T’!”. It was a glorious day.
However, this euphoria was ultimately fleeting. At some point, the rational people of Earth decided to flip over the Buffet Table of Reason at the Banquet for Intellectual Hope and thought it best to, once again, simply start pronouncing the ‘T’ in “often.” I do not know whether this was brought on by an innate human desire to flout the rules of our world or just a collective hatred for all things associated with the establishment but it is now arguably the most frequent linguistic speed bump in the history of hyperbole. And I would like to lead the charge to restore balance.
About Justin Brown
Justin Brown currently resides in Virginia, where he does his best to stoke the fires of his nerdly passion for writing, filmmaking, sports, photography, art, and design. You can keep tabs on him at his blog, esteban was eaten!.
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59 Comments, Comment or Ping
Virilitas
Justin, thank you for a very useful article. I hope that you’re pacific examples of grammatical errors help men to write more better than they did before. ;D
Sep 1st, 2008
Doc Brown
That picture is 1.21 gigawatts of Awesome.
Sep 2nd, 2008
Oswald Criollo
I must interject for just a moment and point out how audacious it is to claim that “snuck” and “irregardless” are not words. What may seem a bastardization is just the natural evolution of language. Language grows, expands, and changes with time. Both of those examples are now accepted as part of the American lexicon and should be respected as such. If anything is to be addressed, it should be the misuse of irregardless in place of regardless.
Beyond that, I enjoyed this article. I found myself questioning my own pronunciations while reading this and, with the exception of sherbet, I seem to be in the clear.
Sep 3rd, 2008
Rich CL
Pro-nown-see-ay-shun is very in-poor-unt!
“Important” is my big pet peeve at the moment.
Sep 9th, 2008
tjgoldstein
Ok, I have one for you.
Nougat. The constant murder of this word drives me insane, so much so, that when there was a particularly annoying Yahoo radio advert in which the word is mangled roughly 5-6 times in 30 seconds, every time I heard the ad start, I would turn the sound off on my computer. I was sick of screaming at the radio, ‘Noo-garrr… it’s friggin’ Noo-garrr!’
Americans pronounce it with a hard T at the end of it.. Noo – gaT, when in fact, it’s pronounced… Noo – garrr.
While I know its unfair to pick on an accent, something people have little control over, I found the combination of the ‘average’ over enthusiastic American voice over combined with the pronounciation was quite possibly the most revolting sound I’ve ever encountered.
So much so, that I was forced to send an email to the company pleading with them to take it off the air.
Feb 16th, 2009
Kel
Lingerie / buffet are also common mistakes.
Feb 16th, 2009
Gene
I must differ with you on one of these, although your narrative is interesting reading. Often is also “legally” pronounced “off-ten”. Look it up, just about anywhere. Either pronunciation is acceptable.
I’d also like to add one that drives my wife crazy: “jewelry” pronounced “joo-ler-y”. It should be pronounced exactly as it sounds.
And another: “Irregardless” used when the word should be “regardless”. Irregardless is not a word.
Feb 26th, 2009
Rick
Often should be pronounced “off-en” regardless of what lexicographers put in their dictionaries. I often use fabric softener (not sof-ten-er) when I do laundry.
Feb 28th, 2009
justin
Great article on mispronouncing words, Jason. Keep up the good work.
Mar 10th, 2009
Katie
ok dude snuck is a word! I looked it up on dictionary.com. It is the past tense of sneak. I even spell checked it on Microsoft Word. If you want to stop people from sounding like idiots you have to do so first. What now?! That’s right you just got schooled.
P.S. have you looked nougat up in the dictionary? the pronunciation guide says a hard T is acceptable, and there’s no R.
Mar 11th, 2009
James
@Katie, the dictionary lists “snuck” as informal, meaning it’s slang, meaning it’s not correct.
Spell check can’t be used as a source to whether a word is proper or not. It allows snuck because Microsoft knows some people will want to type it when speaking colloquially. So Word is correct when it tells you “snuck” is SPELLED right, but that doesn’t mean it’s correct.
Mar 13th, 2009
tjgoldstein
Oh dear Katie.
Never said that there was an ‘r’ in nougat, quite simply pointed out that it is infact pronounced as ‘noo-garr’ and not as ‘noo-gaT’
you are right to say that a hard T at the end is acceptable, unfortunately, just further evidence that America is destroying the English language.
Poor, poor little yankee’s.
Mar 15th, 2009
Nate
I’m guessing the “noo-garr” pronunciation you recommend only includes pronunciation of the R sound when it is followed by a word beginning with a vowel. This is known as an intrusive R–something common in many British accents–but particularly the “Estuary accent,” which was long considered to be working-class and incorrect.
You have no reason to be bragging about it.
Mar 23rd, 2009
Angie
On one hand, I’ve found the banter to be just as entertaining as the article itself….on the same hand – actually, that phrase bothers me so much that I can’t even finish my sentence!
My personal can’t stands are using the words “forwards” or “backwards” – when it’s simply “forward” and “backward”…no plural people!
And just an FYI: yes, I’ll begin properly pronouncing sherBET – despite the fact that I’m going to catch a LOT of crap. How did the mispronunciation of sherBERT become so widespread anyhow?
Mar 23rd, 2009
Joe
With the ongoing wars raging across the Mid East and Asia, I keep hearing about a weapons “cache”, pronounced ka shay. Drives me nuts, it’s pronounced kash
Mar 23rd, 2009
Frank
Actually this guy has got 2 words wrong.
nuclear is pronounced as “nuke-uh-lar” so often that it’s completely acceptable and deemed as a correct pronunciation.
often – “off-en” and “off-ten” are both proper pronunciations as well
The Oxford English Dictionary is the definitive source of “proper” words and pronunciations for the english language. Keep in mind, that language is very dynamic and always adapting.
Mar 28th, 2009
Steve
I’m seeing a movement to create a mispronunciation as a way to to sound “important.” When discussing spreadsheets, a woman at work says “col-yumes” for columns.
Apr 5th, 2009
Paul
People won’t “soften” about “often.” They just won’t “listen” about a silent “t” in the middle of an American word.
I blame teachers who tolerate children and immigrants speaking words as they are spelled. Thank goodness nobody uses the word “cupboard” anymore.
American has never been as easy as saying what you read. Ask any Englishman.
Apr 13th, 2009
Eric
My biggest pet peeve…..PREVENTATIVE is not a word. The word is PREVENTIVE. This is butchered all of the time in speech and written word.
Apr 13th, 2009
bob
Don’t forget forte. “For-tay” means loud. “Fort” mean strong.
Apr 15th, 2009
Katie
You people are so amusing. I’d like to thank everyone who responded to my post because you gave me something to laugh about. It is so diverting that people actually make posts on a regular basis to challenge each other about pronunciation. Does anyone have a life? I simply made a post because I’m in Lit. class, bored to death. So I laugh. Ha. Now go back to your humdrum lives and really consider the activities you are taking part in on a daily basis. Why not go for a walk? Visit an old person… Sneak into a movie… devote your life to philanthropy…you obviously have enough time on your hands.
Apr 22nd, 2009
Doc Brown
Katie, according to my calculations your last reply made you sound like a defensive bitch.
Apr 22nd, 2009
Jack
I won’t take sides. But I will opine that the “get a life” defense in a comment thread is about as fresh and effective as “I’m rubber, you’re glue.” I’m saying this broadly because it really gets my goat when I see a pretty amazing feat on YouTube (guy playing two guitars at one time!?!?!?) and all people can say is “get a life,” as if patronizing YouTube is any more life affirming than being featured on it for honing a craft to inhuman excellence.
On another note:
http://www.zyra.org.uk/getgoat.htm
Apr 23rd, 2009
Katie
ok doc brown, its just one person’s opinion, no need to be profane! do you kiss yo mutha wit dat mouth? and jack you make a good point because the only reason i comment on here is because im freakin bored at school and i wanted to see people’s reaction to my lecture hehe jaja
Apr 24th, 2009
Jaimie
Wait, I thought English was still a living language?
Apr 29th, 2009
Clive
I’d like to add “jive” and “jibe” here.
So irritating.
May 27th, 2009
Doug
All this discussion about pronunciation is just a mute point…
May 28th, 2009
Lance
The one I hear the most, especially on the radio is height. Most mispronounce it as heighth as in length x width x heighth not realizing there is no h sound on the end.
Jun 2nd, 2009
SeanO
I agree completely with the post about the image chosen for this article – well done! As a visual artist, I value how a picture is worth a thousand words (grammatically correct or otherwise!).
I agree that English is indeed a living language – we should not lose sight of this fact. But language is also about communication. If our means of communication become vague and sloppy, doesn’t our communication follow? But being articulate should be a means to more clearly express your thoughts, not to impress or condescend.
Jun 8th, 2009
Jesse
A few more…
“mute point” (moot point – thank you Doug)
“all of the sudden” (all of a sudden)
“bolth” (both)
Jun 11th, 2009
Bill
Living language or not, ignorance and sheer stupidity should not be reasons for a language to “evolve.” Just another example of mediocrity becoming the MO for the average American.
Perhaps if our schools actually TAUGHT English, rather than High School 101: Beating the No Child Left Behind Test…
No wonder the Brits hate us for what we did to their language.
Jun 12th, 2009
Mikey Knuckles
My two pets are “would’ve” spelled, and even pronounced “would of” and “Axe” for “ask”.
Language must evolve in the sense that new words like “BLADING” [clip of verb rollerblading ] or “BLOG” [contraction of web-log] are used to articulate standard means of communication.
The Brits butcher their own language, they need not our help.
Jun 12th, 2009
kva
Amphitheatre – the ‘ph’ is an F – all ph’s are F’s
I go crazy at the DJ’s on the Toronto radio stations that refer to the concert venue as the Ampi-theatre – there will be amps but really…
nice article – I think we can expand it to the top 100 easily
then can you write an article on top 10 grammar mistakes
top pet peeves in that area are:
gone/went i.e. I should have went…
good/well i.e. He did really good
Jun 17th, 2009
michael
All I can think of here is the ongoing Family Guy joke about “whip”. (Enunciating the “h”.)
Jun 27th, 2009
Drew
Is anyone else equally irritated by:
“Supposably” (Supposedly)
Can’t stand it!
Drew´s last blog ..drewpeneton: READING: 10 Words You Mispronounce That Make People Think You’re an Idiot http://bit.ly/Vtlr What other words belong on this list?
Aug 13th, 2009
Nax
I think that the protection of proper English is important and this was a great article. My favorite would have to be asterisk (not asteriks). Just got called out on that one a few years back and felt like an idiot.
I do, however, say “wash” with an “r” in it. Oh well…
Aug 29th, 2009
Chaps
Coming from Down Under where we bag both Poms and Yank language alike, the one word that is starting to get my goat is “disorientated” instead of “disoriented”… Even the newsreaders are starting to say this…
Sep 7th, 2009
Andrew
Chaps, I’ve noticed that too! I thought I was crazy. I just looked it up in the dictionary and it says “another form of disorient.” Whether it’s ‘correct’ or not the jury is still out.
Andrew´s last blog ..Linkszomania for September 9, 2009
Sep 9th, 2009
Moody
I can’t decide who to ask to marry me – Bob or Nate – for their brilliant comments.
Chomping at (or on) the bit, instead of champing at the bit almost sends me into a seizure.
Confession: I mispronounced automaton for DECADES
.
And though not spoken, “air quotes” could be the cause of my demise when, after seeing one too many, I jump out of the window.
Sep 24th, 2009
Ariana
I have thoroughly enjoyed this article as well as the ensuing discussion. This sort of interplay almost overloads my pleasure center.
I cannot help but notice one minor error in the article itself referencing the grammatical function of a ‘conjunction.’
“But then – in what can best be described as the greatest grammatical epiphany since someone decided that we needed a [conjunction] to turn ‘I am’ into a single word.”
To my understanding, a conjunction is any word or expression that serves as a connector for multiple words, phrases, clauses, or sentences.
I submit that the more appropriate term in this instance is ‘contraction.’ Grammatically speaking, a contraction is a shortened form of a word or group of words, i.e. “I am” conveniently becomes “I’m.” I’m a fan of contractions; I love nothing more than to express myself with precision, and I do so appreciate legitimate shortcuts.
I am open to the possibility that I am mistaken. I just [couldn't] (love it) help but giggle after finding what I believe to be an error in an article written in such a haughty, patronizing tone. I laugh because I relate.
Sep 27th, 2009
Atom
alright, i was kind of upset at how uppity this “justin brown” character sounded, what with his flowery vocabulary and zeal for ego-bashing…but then i noticed the name of his blog was “esteban was eaten!”, which can only be a reference to life aquatic, my favorite film of all time.
so, justin, i admit that you have a pretty good grasp on the english language. i’m keeping my ‘often’, though.
Sep 27th, 2009
Justin Brown
All right Ariana, I think you’re right. It took twelve months but someone finally spotted the error I tried to pretend wasn’t there. You win. September 27 is your day; do with it what you like.
Atom, don’t be fooled by my bombastic language or haughty tone (see, I used flowery vocabulary in referring to my flowery vocabulary, that’s meta or something) — I am completely an idiot, most of the time (if you visit Esteban Was Eaten!, this would become exceptionally clear in a very short time).
I’m glad that people seem to be this passionate about their language (over a year after the article was published, no less). A few more generations of people talking about these things and we’ll all be better off.
Grammar fever! Catch it!
Justin Brown´s last blog ..Nobody seems to know where this came from. And I. don’t….
Sep 27th, 2009
Ariana
I am impressed by your graciousness, Justin. No one wins or loses here — the article was exceptionally entertaining as well as informative (oh, the shame — I was, before reading, a great purveyor of “ofTen.”) The joy of it all lies in the analysis! I always appreciate getting caught making a mistake, as long as the redirection occurs not in the heat of an argument
Because I, too, am occasionally guilty of bombastic pomp, I have cached these little treasures away for a rainy day: magniloquence and fustian. The irony therein is nothing less than sublime!
Sep 27th, 2009
Adamant
Often can be pronounced with or without the ‘t’ sound. Both are correct, and to pretend that one is superior to the other is simply arrogant.
Adamant´s last blog ..deke
Sep 28th, 2009
DigablePlanet
@ tjgoldstein:
I am PRIH-TEE SHURE that your NOO-gurr is waaaaay too close to “N*gger” than most politically-inclined Americans are comfortable with pronouncing. Sorry.
Nov 24th, 2009
DigablePlanet
How about this one:
“It just wasn’t all it was CRAPPED UP TO BE”…Wow. I’ve heard that one more than a few times. I guess that’s not so much a pronunciation problem, as it is a FOOLISHNESS problem. Did I spell “pronunciation” right just now? Ah crap.
Nov 24th, 2009
PLG
Language is a living creation, which means that it mutates and evolves all the time. What people mispronounce today could very well be considered high English in the coming decades.
Moral: get off your high horse, the lot of ya
Dec 3rd, 2009
Wordly
This is a good start and I could certainly add more malapropisms however, there are two problems.
1. “Irregardless” is now in the dictionary (not saying that it is right, just saying…)
2. Et cetera is ACTUALLY pronounced as “et ketera” because in Latin, a “c” is the equivalent to our “k”.
Dec 3rd, 2009
Wordly
P.S. Dear “PLG”, it is people like you who are responsible for the bastardization of our lovely language. For the love of language, get back on your high horse and act like you got an education!
Dec 3rd, 2009
mark clayson
Glad to see that Frank has made me feel good about “off – ten”.
mark clayson´s last blog ..Get Your Child’s Twitter Background on MY Twitter Page
Jan 7th, 2010
bob dylan
One thing that drives me crazy- and this is very common on the internet.
People who write “Wallah” instead of “Voila”, because they’re idiots.
You’ll see recipies on various cooking sites (good ones, too), with instructions like “Fold the egg mixture into the flour mixture, add to a silicone cake pan and bake for one hour or until sets. Wallah! Your very own devils food cake!”
And it makes me want to slit my wrists.
Other than that, I agree that english is a living language. And the OED is not the be all and end all of what constitutes proper english- there is no “Academie Anglaise” officially approving words and phraseology. Sure, go to the OED for guidance, or look to Mirriam Webster for a more American perspective. In all honesty, if I want to know how a word is used I’ll most likely check urbandictionary.com first. (With a large grain of salt, of course. But it’s surprisingly useful.)
Feb 2nd, 2010
Observer6
Well, I guess I do not have to AKS any more questions about this topic…so it is up to you to AKS somoene…Fo sho!
Feb 2nd, 2010
Cerce
I have noticed that several of my co-workers when trying to explain their consternation with certain parts of the job process use the term frustration, but forget it contains the letter r. I am subsequently aurally assaulted with fustrated, and fustration. Irony at work.
Feb 3rd, 2010
Jamal
You forgot “ATHLETE” – some folks say “AFF-LETE”
these same people probably (prolly) use AXE (murderer) instead of ASK.
Oh yeah and my gf says “put your 2 sentences in” instead of “2 cents” ah hahahaha LMAO
ignorance is bliss.
Feb 4th, 2010
Lem
Hmmm nope I dont make any of those mistakes.
Mind you I do live on the other side of the pond to you so…
Feb 6th, 2010
Chepe
Language prescriptivists are shitty in bed.
Mar 9th, 2010
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