You love sipping on beers and sampling a broad variety of brewed beverages, but how do others see your obsession? Make sure you’re regarded as a beer loving expert and not an elitist douche.
By Xandy Bustamante
“Don’t be a Beer Snob!”
I hear this phrase every so often from my girlfriend (usually followed by a tiny fist of fury to my shoulder) as I am trying to explain to her the complexities of a Belgian Sour or when I cough ‘don’t do it’ as someone buys a 24 pack of the ’silver bullet” at the corner store.
After her latest “don’t be a Beer Snob” comment I have been thinking about what it actually means to be a ‘Beer Snob.’ And more importantly why do I hate to be called one?
Being a Beer Snob is being the exact opposite of everything that is great about beer. Beer is enjoyed by everyone from CEO’s to wine-makers to construction workers, it is cheap, it is refreshing, and best of all it is an equalizer. Everyone enjoys sitting down and talking over a beer while watching the game. Heck it’s an American tradition.
With over 78 recognized styles of beer and over 1,400 hundred breweries operating in the United States there is a beer out there for everyone. While I may not like a certain beer, chances are that it is someone’s number 1, all time favorite, mouthwatering, beer soul mate and that is pretty cool.
So after many days of contemplation and sucking down several Bud Lights (just to prove to my girlfriend that I am not the Beer Snob she claims me to be) I have finally decided what it means to be a Beer Snob, and what it means to simply be a Beer Lover.
A Beer Snob:
- Only drinks Belgians, IPA’s, Imperial Stouts, etc. and believes it is beneath them to drink anything else.
- Laughs to himself when they see someone order anything but a micro.
- Wears designer jeans, a cardigan, a sports-coat, and brand new loafers to enjoy their favorite brew.
- Has never considered homebrewing.
- Only orders from the beer book instead of what is on tap. Orders a round of their favorite Belgian Sour for their friends who don’t know what a sour beer is.
- Is an asshole.
A Beer Lover:
- Drinks whatever their friends are drinking.
- Picks the beer with the funniest tap handle.
- Wonders why they picked the $10 imperial stout when their friend orders the delicious $2 PBR.
- Wears their favorite brewery T-shirt, Costco jeans, and a sweet pair of tennies.
- Can brew at home.
- Asks the Bartender for a recommendation.
- Buys their friends a round without them even knowing.
- Is a good person.
So what does this all mean you ask? I don’t want to be a Beer Snob you say. How do I avoid being a Beer Snob you ponder?
Well here are some simple rules to follow:
Never:
- Say a beer tastes bad.
- Complain if the service is slow.
- Look down upon someone buying a beer that you don’t like.
- Sniff a beer in public.
- Tell someone you have a great palate.
- Wear a cardigan.
Always:
- Offer a friend a taste.
- Practice Beer Karma. (buy a round for your friend)
- Learn something new about beer.
- Ask people what their favorite beer is.
- Finish your beer. (Mom says “it’s just polite”)
- Try something new.
- Tip well. (Dollar a beer is good)
- Say Cheers.
There you go, instead of being a Beer Snob now you are a Beer Lover, and trust me everyone loves to hang out with people who love beer. Being that guy that everyone wants to have a beer with is easy, just be a good person and try not to break the rules so often, trust me it is a lot better than getting physically abused by your girlfriend.
Seattle’s Beer Blogger grew up in Santa Rosa, CA surrounded by such great breweries as Sierra Nevada and Russian River Brewing. Thanks to a father’s love (of good beer that is) he realized at an early age that beer is too precious a thing to be pumped out of factories reminiscent of Upton Sinclair’s ‘The Jungle.’ Studying, working, and drinking in the Beer Mecca of Boulder, Colorado for 5 years affirmed his belief that craft beer is really the drink of the Gods. Xandy has now moved on to another famous beer region, the Pacific Northwest, and has started to explore what the regions festivals, micro-breweries, and brewpubs have to offer. Check out his blog at www.seattlebeer.blogspot.com.
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14 Comments, Comment or Ping
Jack
“Picks the beer with the funniest tap handle.”
That really spoke to me.
Feb 16th, 2009
keith
Beer is an affordable luxery, be bullish!
Feb 17th, 2009
Jay Campbell
I get the humor behind this whole thing and I think I hate being called a beer snob as much as the next guy. The only thing I would say is that it’s perfectly fine to smell your beer and there’s nothing wrong with saying a beer tastes bad. It’s ok to smell a cheap beer and it’s ok to say that an expensive beer tastes bad.
Feb 18th, 2009
brian
I enjoyed the article, but I don’t necessarily agree with all of it.
-I enjoy sniffing beer, I actually try to make sure my homebrew has a nice aroma.
-There is no way I’m tipping a buck for someone to pull a tap handle. Get real.
-There is a reason you “suck” or “choke” down such beers as Bud, Coors, Miller. It’s because they tasted awful. And I have no problem saying it, it’s my opinion.
R,DW. HAHB.
Feb 21st, 2009
Aaron
Nice article Xandy! I enjoyed reading it.
I disagree with the others and agree with you. The key is, like you stated in your article, sniffing your beer in PUBLIC. I think it’s fine for anyone to do that when they are home brewing or at home enjoying some rounds with friends. Although if I saw someone doing that in public, I’d laugh at them because I thought they were beer snobs.
Feb 21st, 2009
Xandy
Thanks for the comments guys.
I would agree you guys on smelling a beer, in fact I do it all the time. Just realize that to the average person you are looking like a snob, and at the very least try to sneak-o-sniff when in public.
As far as saying something tastes bad, I would just go with “I don’t like it that much” instead of a frank “it tastes bad” simply more polite I think. Thanks for the comments and enjoy a good Beer.
Cheers.
Feb 22nd, 2009
Mike
Good points!! I have to admit, I have met very few beers that I didn’t like. I love it all, from Milwaukee’s Best to Bud to Fat Tire to Sam Smith. I don’t give a damn what someone else drinks, as long as they like it.
Feb 24th, 2009
Eric
Since when does what someone wears matter? Also, sniffing beer is just another way of enjoying beer, how is it snobbish?
snob (n) : (disapproving) A person who seeks to be a member of the upper classes and looks down on other classes such as lower classes.
Apr 13th, 2009
Lorin
I enjoyed your article even if I don’t agree with a lot of it—funny stuff there; I feel for you sucking down those Dud Lights. Yiccchh!!!
I have to say I agree with everyone in disagreeing with your ‘no-sniffing’ rule; at least here in Portland EVERYONE sniffs their beer, or at least sniffs it if it’s: a) a beer that’s new to them, or b) a beer that’s got a particularly pleasing aroma, no matter how many times you’ve drunk it.
I went to the Oregon Brewer’s Guild dinner last night (a sort of ‘pre-party’ to the Oregon Brewer’s Festival) and I sniffed every last one of the ten or so beers I tried. And I will always call out a crappy-tasting beer (although never in such a way as to make a big deal out of it.) Having brewed a number of awful beers myself (and a few quite good ones) I sort of feel I’ve got the right to call out a bad one when I taste it…
Jul 23rd, 2009
Oz
Love this article!! I don’t see an “undercover snob” catagory. Im a beer lover, home brewer and don’t own a cardigan. I do, however, have my own taste for beer. I think anyone walking out of the corner store with a crappy beer just doesn’t know any better.
Oz´s last blog ..Why Try Home Brewing — 5 Good Reasons
Sep 7th, 2009
Bryan
Beer snobs rule. I love IPA’s and craft beers. PBR, are you kidding? Why not drink some unleaded from the gas station.
Nov 16th, 2009
Barbara S
I have great pride in never drinking beer from a can. After seeing your list…I’m super proud to be a beer snob. No problems with it at all. In fact to hell with beer lovers. PBR….pshhhh it’s swill.
-Proud Beer Snob
Jan 4th, 2010
Sean Nordquist
I love it! I wrote a similar article last year about snobbery. We are definitely on the same page.
Sean Nordquist´s last blog ..The St. Petersburg Beer Scene, Part 1
Feb 19th, 2010
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