I’m 40, Busy, and I Need to Get Into Shape: A Realistic Fitness Framework for Busy Guys Who Don’t Love the Gym

I’m 40, Busy, and I Need to Get Into Shape: A Realistic Fitness Framework for Busy Guys Who Don’t Love the Gym
Why your fitness goals from your 20s don’t work anymore—and how to set real ones instead.

brad borland

Brad is a university lecturer with a master’s degree in Kinesiology and is a Certified Strength and Conditioning Specialist (CSCS) with the National Strength and Conditioning Association (NSCA). He has competed as a drug-free bodybuilder, is a cancer survivor, and a 21 year veteran of the Air National GuardBrad has been a Primer contributor since 2011.


It’s an understatement to say that the world of fitness is overly saturated. From social media influencers, gurus, and self-proclaimed experts to the latest crazes of hyper-strict diets, “magic” supplements, and the so-called “perfect” training programs full of the-only-thing-you-need-to finally-get-a-six-pack promises, it’s completely understandable that you can get turned off by all the hype. 

You’re busy, your job is stressful, you may have a family, and you want more time to live the life you want. Who has the time to go on a lengthy mental and physical excursion, exploring, experimenting, and executing the countless options available?

Why does everything seem so complicated? And who the heck is making up all these rules? 

It can be incredibly frustrating adhering to any fitness plan let alone knowing where to start. You may feel like quitting before you even begin. Thoughts of early evening pickleball swirl around in your head and might just be your best idea yet!

Fear not. Read on to find out how you can easily start, implement, and actually enjoy the process of getting into great shape as an adult without the paralyzing information overload you were never going to wade through to begin with. 

Below is a simple step-by-step list of easy-to-follow guidelines that will enable you to cater to your specific needs, schedule, and lifestyle. No social media guru is required.

1. Set a vision.

Notice how we didn’t start with “choose a goal.” Initially, we tend to set vague goals that are poorly defined like “lose weight” or “workout more.” Additionally, goals are terminal by nature.

Once you achieve your goal, then what?

A vision, on the other hand, is much more long-term. It symbolizes a commitment which would have no end. Here you would create a vision based on lifestyle versus limited goals. Your desire to get into shape, eat better, sleep better, and reduce stress becomes more part of your life, an integral part of your day-to-day, versus just some things you add on if you have time. 

Ask yourself: What do I want my day to look like? How will I feel after a great workout? Do I see myself losing weight, gaining muscle and strength, and feeling better? 

This process becomes more about adopting a new and healthier lifestyle versus setting goals that feel like are outside of your control. It is a mindset shift that allows you to fully welcome in and embrace new habits that become a part of you and your day-to-day. 

Once you get your mind to shift, you can then set specific goals. Don’t serve dinner until you’ve set the table. 

2. Choose your mode.

Here is where goals fit in. Once you choose from a series of specific goals such as losing 10 pounds of body fat, gaining five pounds of muscle, or gaining more strength and energy to play weekend warrior basketball, then you can start to formulate a simple plan of action.

Do you want more muscle and strength? Then your plan will revolve around weight training three to four days per week with some cardio work thrown in on off days. Do you want to foster a lost sense of exercise in you life? Then your plan shouldn't unrealistically expect you to weight train four days per week. Whatever your goals are be sure to cater the majority of your training toward that specific goal. In other words, if you want more muscle, don’t plan to run five days per week. 

Another important thing to keep in mind is to avoid complicating things. Choose a program and stick to it. Don’t lose sleep over whether it’s the perfect plan or not. Start somewhere with something you can tolerate and realistically fit into your schedule. And speaking of…

3. Work with your own availability.

I see so many newcomers come into the gym with a little dread in their eyes. They emit a feeling of “I really don’t want to be here.” They are out of their comfort zone, a bit confused, and completely off their regular schedule. Change is tough sometimes and walking into a strange place with little idea of what to do only compounds that stress. Or worse, they know exactly what to do and don't want to do it. Motivation wanes and you're back at square one. 

Instead of trying to fit the square peg in the round hole, try the opposite. Look at your own schedule:

  • What can realistically fit?
  • How many days could you comfortably train?
  • How long on each day?
  • Can you train one day on the weekend or do you like your weekends off?

Whatever your schedule can accommodate start there. 

At the same time, don’t be too lenient. If you can only manage a couple of days per week, do your absolute best to make those days count. Build consistency which will eventually become a habit. Once you develop the habit then your new healthier lifestyle will take over and feel like second nature. 

4. Use what you have.

If you’ve ever watched the 1970s documentary Pumping Iron you’ll notice the crude conditions of the famous Gold’s Gym. Rusty barbells, very little if any padding on equipment, few selectorized machines, no music, and the absence of any ellipticals, treadmills, or advanced, functional apparatus with a touchscreen display recording your every move.

Despite these perceived horrible conditions, the bodybuilders still trained hard and got great results. They used what they had.

Take the same mindset and apply it to your own circumstances. Maybe you have a humble home gym; be creative and come up with new ways to do traditional exercises. Maybe the commercial gym you belong to is ill-equipped–it’s in disrepair and needs some work done on broken machines. Create a workout plan where you only do three or four exercises for several rounds for a specific amount of time, for example. 

The point is you don’t need the perfect set-up with all of the latest machines and gadgets. There are countless ways to make the old standby exercises not only effective but also interesting and fun to do. Never let the perceived lack of perfect circumstance be the thief of building a stronger, better body. 

5. Create a contingency plan.

This principle relates directly to the above. Many times, even in the most well-equipped gym imaginable, it’s so crowded that getting in a good workout will become near impossible. There might be a line to the bench press (I’ve actually witnessed this at many military gyms overseas), someone is curling in the squat rack (a huge pet peeve), and every dumbbell has been taken captive. It’s too crowded, some of your favorite machines are out of order, and a pack of wild teenagers are monopolizing every piece of equipment you need that day. 

The fact is you can’t seem to squeeze in your normal routine let alone get any real benefit from training that day. Do you go crazy and start screaming like a madman? Do you say screw this and head home, or do you improvise for that day determined to get in a great workout?

This is where having a contingency plan can do wonders for both your physical and mental health. Have a solid, minimal plan ready to go when circumstances force you to change lanes and find another way to your physique destination. Maybe it’s performing a bodyweight-only routine for the day. Perhaps you can grab a pair of dumbbells and go off to a corner and perform a circuit. Or maybe you can somehow grab a single barbell and see how many exercises you can come up with in 20 minutes. 

Whatever you decide, have a few options at the ready so you can easily flip the switch and avoid mental frustration.

6. Don’t stress, make it fun.

The final step is to fully adopt this new lifestyle. Make it a part of your weekly schedule and not something that you feel like you must do.

Start small. Begin by doing what’s easily manageable. Can you exercise twice per week for 20 minutes each day? Then do that. Eventually, you can experiment with increasing your time each day or throw in an extra day during the week. The only hard rule is to progress only when you’re completely ready. You don’t need to overwhelm yourself with researching the latest programs or training with gladiator-level intensity. 

Make your plan your own–cater to your specific needs and work with a realistic schedule. Develop the important habit of consistency and the details will work themselves out. Over time, and with a little patience, you’ll be on your way to a healthier mind and body. 

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Brad Borland

Brad is the founder of BradBorland.com. He is a consultant, writer, fitness specialist, husband and father. He earned his Master's degree in Kinesiology, is a member of the Air National Guard and is a cancer survivor.