Ask the Readers: “Sexy” Underwear for the Groom?

When your fiancé tells you she's only wearing sexy underwear on your honeymoon if you do — what skivvies would you reach for?

Dear Fellow Primer Readers,

Please help me. I'm getting married in a few months and the wifey and I started making plans for the honeymoon. We want to make it a particularly sexy experience which is a bit of a challenge for a modern couple. So, the first thing we did was cut each other off.

No more luvin' till after the big day. But that's not my problem…

Since we are living together, I know her underwear reserve pretty well. Now I don't want to sell her short. There ARE a COUPLE of items in her collection that have a certain aesthetic appeal, but most of her stuff is pretty… utilitarian. Also… not the problem…

But when I started bothering her about wanting to see something more elaborate on the honeymoon she turned it back on me: “I'll wear sexy underwear if YOU wear sexy underwear.” Now I'm no feminist, but we treat each other as equals in this relationship and frankly it seems like a reasonable request. Why shouldn't she expect me to look appealing in my skivvies on our honeymoon?

I'd never really considered the sorry state of my own underwear collection but now that I do… I'm realizing some of my underwear is downright threadbare. I can only think of 2 or 3 pairs that don't have any unintentional holes somewhere and the sexiest it gets is a nice pair of  black ‘exofficio' boxer-briefs I picked up at REI for my trip to Haiti. I got 'em cause they dry-out fast if you need to wash them in the sink.

I tried to solve the problem the way I solve all problems these days, with a quick Google search.

“Sexy Underwear for Dudes” (Click)

Well, that was one part horrifying and one part depressing. If I were flamboyant and/or cut like a Greek god it would be fine. But what is a modern — 10-15 lbs overweight, not quite tan, marginally hairy legged — man to do? I'm not in bad shape, but I've got some serious love handles, and I'm not Robbin Williams hairy, but I'm not about to shave my happy trail either.

Now it wouldn't be too difficult to grab a couple brand new pairs of solid color boxer-briefs and call it a day, but i know if she went out and just got a couple new pairs of comfortable panties I would be more than a little disappointed.

I guess my question is where is the middle ground?

And what would look decent on me?A slightly overweight chick in a lacy thong, is still a chick in a lacy thong, but a chubby hairy dude in a shear banana hammock… at best that's hysterical, at worst vomit inducing!

Help me find a middle ground Primer!


Considering Commando


  • Reply September 8, 2010


    Wow…what a hard question. I haven’t seen anything I would consider “sexy”. Maybe just splurge on a really nice (brand name) pair of boxers or boxer briefs? I feel for you buddy!

  • Reply September 8, 2010


    Just go commando!

  • Reply September 8, 2010


    This seems like a male version of a teddy…I guess?

  • Reply September 8, 2010


  • Reply September 8, 2010

    William @ Irvin

    What a predictament. Try one of these costume type thingies. Sorta sexy but fun too

  • Reply September 8, 2010


    ohhhhh sweetie.VERY important. thong: sexy on women. NOT sexy on men. crotchless: sexy on women. NOT sexy on men. etc. etc. Please please please save yourself and don’t wear anything on your honeymoon that will make your new gorgeous wife question your sexual orientation. In my experience, there is nothing less sexy than a man who tries to be something he’s not.

    I happen to think that a fresh pair of snug black boxer briefs (along with some confidence and ridiculously selfless foreplay) are just asking to be ripped off…in a good way. But hey, that’s just me.

    It’s not about the underwear, it’s about what you DO in the underwear. Let’s just say, sometimes treating each other as equals is not the way to go. I think the sexiest part of a man’s underwear is when he makes sure that they stay on, while his wifes come off…

    Congrats on your wife loving you more after your honeymoon than she did on your wedding day. Thank me later. 🙂

  • Reply September 9, 2010

    Jamie Fellrath

    I think it’s time to start pressing your fiancee for HER fantasies about that sort of thing and then try to accommodate her!
    .-= Jamie Fellrath´s last blog ..On Having More Hope For My Autistic Son Than Ever Before =-.

  • Reply September 9, 2010


    Eeesh. That is a tough one. Well, you’re probably not going to like my answer, but here goes. Lose that extra 10-15 pounds. You don’t have to be Hercules, but losing the love handles will show her that you care about her, and just as importantly, yourself. You’ve got plenty of time to do it. Just cut the junk calories (soda, white bread, late night snacks) and get some exercise in. You’ve got to be okay with a little pain and discomfort. For crying out loud the two of you cut each other off?!?! Madness. But… good for you two ya crazy kids.

    For the underwear, go with the euro styled sport trunk, we did a write up over at Dappered a few months back:

    It’s like a boxer brief but much shorter in the legs. The ladies seem to like them. Armani or Calvin Klein are always a safe (if not expensive) bet:

    But the contrast y-front “international” briefs from Jockey are pretty slick. Especially if your bride to be is from Portugal? Just click, you’ll see what I mean:

    Good Luck!

    – Joe from

  • Reply September 9, 2010


    Men’s Health just did an online article about new styles of underwear with some pretty good suggestions:

    I have a few pairs of the Slix boxerbriefs ( they recommend and love them. They’re marketed for dryness, but you can get them in all black and they have a silk-like smooth feeling to them.

  • Reply September 9, 2010

    Andrew Mac

    Real simple, black silk boxers. Maybe a dark blue or dark silver.

    This would the time to go find them in a store to see how the feel, instead of relying on customer reviews online.

    Good luck!

  • Reply September 9, 2010


  • Reply September 10, 2010

    Barron Cuadro

    You somewhat answered your own question. You said you can only think of 2-3 pairs you own that aren’t threadbare and holey. Not holy, but holey. That can’t be good! No wonder she gave you the same suggestion that you gave her. She’s probably thinking, “Why would I throw on something sexy if he’s just gonna wear his ratty ol’ things that night?”

    I think Brooke’s got it right: simple black boxer briefs along with some confidence are the best choice. I doubt the wife equates sexy to man-thong, or man-teddy. Also, don’t bust out those quick-drying REI boxers. Splurge on something new, such as or .

    Joe’s got a good idea as well… why not attempt to lose that extra baggage you got? You have a couple months. You’d be surprised how easy it is to lose 5 or 10 lbs… all it takes is the right mentality, the willingness to clean up some eating habits, and the dedication to go outside and sweat a little.

    Not only will you feel like a stronger, healthier, more in-control man, but your wife will certainly take notice. By then, you’ll have the newfound problem of that chiseled bod taking all the attention away from your newly-purchased underwear.
    .-= Barron Cuadro´s last blog ..On getting rid of clothes =-.

  • Reply September 10, 2010


    I would definitely look at Aussie Bum. They have free international shipping now and some awesome cuts and designs! She’d be impressed!
    .-= Richard´s last blog ..A Storm is Brewing =-.

  • Reply September 15, 2010


    Sexy underwear, you are a symbol of a woman. Is a manifestation of your beautiful curves, wear endless temptation to make your husband or boyfriend will be with you as passionate. Variety of models, cheap, quality service, all in intimatease.

    • Reply April 19, 2016


      Women, you all do not owe sex or sexy lingerie, or any dog gone thing to your boyfriends.

      Do not let these men and the women who support men, try to make you feel guilty and try to make you go crazy trying to sexually satisfy every man.
      When you and the boyfriend marry, the you can give him sex.4-19-16

  • Reply September 16, 2010


    Something clean, form-fitting and simple. A dark, high-end boxer-brief will do the trick. Save the frills for her and keep it basic.

  • Reply October 3, 2010


    Having just gotten back from my honeymoon I was pleased to find my (new) wife only brought sexy underwear along for the trip.

    I know of only one pair of underwear I have that she likes more than the others so I went that route. They’re just standard boxer-briefs except a little shorter and more snug.

    Because of those two things I’m not nearly as comfortable in them so they don’t get worn often but she’s mentioned she likes them. And I was pleased to find out she appreciated the thought I put into making her happy. It’s a win-win situation!

    Best of Luck,

  • Reply October 13, 2010

    What Should Men Wear

    I think you should find a decent store where men’s underwear is sold and go ask a shop assistant the same question – I bet this won’t be the first time he/she hears that and will definitely know how to help you. Plus, seeing and touching at a store gives you much better idea of what a sexy underwear for a guy should look like, than sitting by the computer and reading about it. Good luck!

  • Reply October 19, 2010

    Considered Commando

    Thanks for all the advice Primer readers! I didn’t have long to get in shape between sending the letter and going on the honeymoon, but that definitely is the BEST advice. Luckily I had been working on it for a few months so I was feelin’ good about myself.

    For the big night I had a pair of boxers made up that said ‘Property of Mrs. my-last-name’ on the ass. Not too sexy or too comfortable but a big hit none-the-less.

    I got a few of the short boxer-briefs you all described, comfortable enough to wear around but a bit more fun than utilitarian. A great source for those that no one mentioned was H&M. They sell lots of fun graphic designs. Then for the first and last night of the honeymoon I figured what the hell… A got a silk thong and a leather ass-less thing. I figured best case scenario we find out she has some kinky predilections, worst case we have a good laugh at my expense, and I get out of them as quickly as possible.

    I’ll just say it was all a huge success.

    (Not too graphic…)

  • Reply February 25, 2015


    • Reply April 19, 2016


      Yea yeah yeah, yada yada yada, so much fussing at women about how much we should make ourselves sexy, for a man . There is more important things to worry about.
      Men are going to eventually destroy women. the men make all these crazy rules that are nothing but talk about sex!! Then these lazy men, make excuses about themselves wearing sexy clothing items. You all have to do it for your woman too!

      Men have made life hard and so uncomfortable for women. Tired of it. Who the hell has time for always wear sexy undies and putting the on, night, after night, after night,…..

  • Reply April 19, 2016

    Jean Fvs Wildcat fan

    Jam so glad that this problem, is bein good addressed. See, husbands are always saying that they want their wives to wear the uncomfortable things like sexy nighties and thongs, that stick I awoman’s butt, Now we are finally telling these husbands that it has it been fair to make wives wear this and not make husbands wear thie sexy nighties. 4-19-2016

    It goes both ways, men.

  • Reply March 11, 2018



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