By Tanel Jäppinen
“Man showers”, “Dudes and diapers” party, “Dad-to-be’s last hurrah”, “Baby-Q” party, Bachelor party 2.0, Dadchelor party… you can call it whatever you like, but the reality is that men are embracing the concept of fatherhood a lot more actively these days. Soon-to-be dads have a right to be celebrated too!
For generations, women have celebrated in grand fashion when it comes to the upcoming birth of their children. And oftentimes dads either are left out or they want to step “out” because of all the hype. I don’t know many men that are excited about the ooh-ing and the torture of slowly unwrapping every single gift, and then faking your excitement over a rectal thermometer. How is this fun? I’m not sure all the moms love it either!
A Dadchelor party is a man-centric celebration for soon-to-be dads. There’s some resemblance to a baby shower, but it’s definitely its own thing. Unlike the spectacle that (the traditional) baby shower (with ladies) has become, Dadchelor party is a place where friends and family get little crazy (or not) to celebrate their friend entering fatherhood.
It’s not the last goodbye because his life will be over soon – we understand that it’s a big life change for the soon-to-be daddy, so this is his last party not being a dad, it’s more of a “see-you-later-party!”
I actually think the best thing to do is to throw a decent baby shower for the expectant couple together. And make it fun for both prospective parents. However, seems like the new-mom baby showers are so ingrained in our culture. So, if we can’t have a co-ed celebration, then dads have absolutely the right to have their own event on their own terms.
Why have a dadchelor party?
Because we deserve it too
Prospective moms get an opportunity to connect and celebrate the joy of becoming a parent. There’s no reason dads shouldn’t have the same opportunity.
Face it, with her pregnancy, she’s been getting all the attention lately. Dad needs a place to share his fears and joys too. We need to feel connected to our peer group. Having a baby is a big deal for dads too and most of us understand the seriousness of this transition very well.
It’s not an easy transition and we have lot of fears and insecurities. Dads have every right to celebrate and spend time with friends and voice their concerns and (hopefully) get support from their friends.
It’s one of the biggest life changes (even bigger than getting married)
Having a bachelor party is quite common, it’s a rite of passage of sorts to celebrate a big change in someone’s life. However, becoming a dad is arguably a more significant transition than getting married. Today, couples’ lives don’t change much after marriage – most of us have shared a home with our partner for a couple of years before tying the knot. But bringing a baby home is a big deal. It changes everything – family dynamics, less time for each other and for social life and it takes time to adjust to the new order of life.
Dadchelor party is a nice way for the guys to recognize the change in their friend’s life.
What does a dadchelor party look like?
The celebration can be anything you want it to be, there’s no written rules or social norms like there are for baby showers. It can be a huge blowout, like a trip to Vegas or Mexico, a frat-like drinking party or a simple camping trip or a day on a golf course, a backyard BBQ or a poker night with whiskey & cigars. The possibilities are endless. It all depends on the “main guy” and his friends and their interests.
Most guys don’t care much about the gifts and they’re unlikely to gather around the soon-to-be daddy while he slowly opens boxes of diapers, baby blankets, bottles and other gadgets. For a lot of men, it’s more about male bonding and spending time together.
You can go for the typical baby shower games like the baby food blind tasting and the guess-the-poo games, or just play beer pong, toss the bean bag or have a baby bottle beer chugging contest. Like I said there are no rules!
If the idea of throwing a dadchelor party for yourself or for a friend sounds appealing, then go for it – the daddy-to-be deserves it!
Use your imagination and have a ton of fun – like I said there are no rules. However, I would leave you with one strong recommendation: do it early! At least a month before the due date. You don’t want the soon-to-be daddy be wasted in a bar or even worse, in Las Vegas while the new mom goes into labor.
What would you do for your Dadchelor Party? Share it with everyone in the comments.
Tanel is a husband to his high school girlfriend and a proud dad. His mission is to help other soon-to-be and new dads transition to fatherhood and navigate the pressures they face in modern world.
If you're just entering parenthood, check out Tanel's blog and his Brand New Father Podcast to get more insights. You can also connect with him on Facebook or on Twitter.