How to Calm a Crying Baby, As Told By a Pediatrician of 30 Years

Let me paint a picture for you: You're visiting your new girlfriend's family for the first time, and her sister asks you if you'd like to hold her newborn. You think you like kids, and more importantly you want to appear like you like kids, so you accept. Except as soon as you get the little tyke in your mitts he starts crying. Do you A) Panic and hand him back over or do you B) Show that baby who's boss with this simple hold. Result: Swooning from girlfriend, girlfriend's sister, and perhaps most importantly – her mother.

Andrew is the founder and editor of Primer. He's a graduate of American University and currently lives in Los Angeles. Read more about Primer on our About page. On Instagram: @andrewsnavely and @primermagazine.

  • Clark

    Gotta ask… how many squirming babies did this guy drop in residency trying to get this right? haha. I think if I tried to hold any of my friends new “first babies” this way they’d freak out. (Of course they’re freaking out anyways with a new helpless human).

  • JB32nd

    How fitting! I have a 2-week old and was just told about this video by a friend.

  • Evan85

    I’m about to watch it, but from the thumbnail alone, I imagine the advice is, “Choke the little bastard until he stops!”

    • Andrew

      Yep! Don’t bother watching it. 😂

      • Daniel

        Video caption: “Squeeze here until baby stops crying”.

  • andy

    This seems so amazing! I wonder about the science behind the technique. Normally when I see a crying baby I show them this picture of my bird and they always stop crying. The science behind this is pretty clear.

  • Kevin Daniel Aziz

    Being the first to have a baby among my friends (21-25 mostly), it’s humorous and terrifying watching many of them hold an infant for the first time. In all fairness I had the same “handle with care” look of terror on my face when I first held my son.