Round 2: A Guide to the 2nd Date

Round 2: A Guide to the 2nd Date
Round 2: A Guide to the 2nd Date
Photo by Ohad

So you've managed a second date – now the real work begins.  You may have been able to coast through the first date based on your novelty or an impersonal dating location, but now you've got to convince her you're a keeper and worth making an emotional investment in.

By Lawrence Weibman

Congratulations, you've made it past the first date! You melted the initial anxiety with your humor and charm and now it's time for the 2nd date, perfect for moving the romance to another level of intimacy, excitement and fun. It has to be done right, however, and Primer is here with three ideas to make the all important 2nd date one she'll never forget.

Women love surprises. If the first date went very well, take the 2nd date as an opportunity to build suspense by revealing little hints about the activity you have planned as opposed to just revealing it. Tell her what to wear or to be prepared for an adventure, anything to highlight your creativity, spontaneity and thoughtfulness.

The Picnic

While the thought of this may make you feel cheesy or cliché, the picnic provides intimacy on so many levels. Food is the way to everyone's heart so if you don't already know what she's into, the picnic provides you the chance to call her prior and casually talk to her about what foods she likes, while you take notes. Guide the conversation towards simpler foods like her perfect salad, her favorite cheese, cracker, type of wine, and dessert.

The picnic provides a relaxed ambiance unlike a restaurant, where there will be plenty of others around and a feeling to leave after an hour or two.  If all goes well your picnic could last several hours, providing a great chance to further get to know each other.

A bowl of food on a table, with Picnic
Photo by Avlxyz

What You'll Need:

  • A blanket
  • A private, pre-determined spot, preferably overlooking some water
  • Small votive candles for when it gets dark. It's important not to reveal these until you need them creating another romantic surprise.
  • A pre-corked bottle of wine & some non-alcoholic beverage
  • Simple food: cheese, crackers, humus and pita bread, an assortment of small salads
  • Dessert, whether you eat it or not, is essential, every meal should be finished with something sweet plus it's the perfect segue to a kiss (nothing better than having dessert twice)
  • Cups, plates, forks, knives, napkins
  • You should both wear pants so you don't get bit by bugs.


This will work even if you can't dance. It provides you with the opportunity to show you're adventurous while simultaneously getting close to her. You can still be confident while showing your vulnerable side, something most women love. In the end, it will inadvertently lead to laughs, smiles and the flow of the body's natural mood enhancers, endorphins. Make sure you tell her to wear comfortable shoes.

What You'll Need:

Find out beforehand what her favorite types of music are and what she likes to dance to. If you already know a specific type of dance (salsa, swing, Funky Chicken, etc.) then play to your strong suit. Tell her you've always been interested in improving your dance skills or learning new dances, mention several and see which, if any, pique her interest. If she seems bored by this, don't push it, some women just don't like dancing. But if she needs a few drinks to get moving, you can still sell the surprise, just choose a nice place for drinks beforehand.
Research places where you can either get dancing lessons or dance to live music.

Dancing makes people hot and hungry, bring a few bottles of cold water and have a few options for places to eat at after.

Junior High
Photo by Borbuleta

Pretend You're in Junior High

Remember all those sweet things you thought about doing for girls given the chance?  The 2nd date is the perfect time to deploy your secret romantic weapons.

Ice Skating: You get to hold her hand and keep her steady…or fall all over the place and make her laugh.

The zoo: Make sure you find out if she likes animals first.

Arts & Crafts Time: Whether it's painting pottery or buying some paints, if your date is artistic, this will get you that kiss.

A cooking class: Making food and a mess is a lot of fun. Find out if you can bring a bottle of wine or if it is provided.

Cooking For her/Cooking together: It may be too soon to invite her to your apartment so use this suggestion cautiously. If you can blow her socks off with your culinary skills, go for it.

Art Gallery/Museum: Read up on the exhibits you're going to see so you can enhance her viewing experience (read: seem really smart) with interesting facts and background.

Botanical Gardens: Women love flowers and you're bringing her into a world of them. Combine this with the picnic for extra oomph.

A long walk on a nice day: Yes, it may seem like we're taking cues from “Half Baked,” but if you sell her on a surprise destination like a restaurant you know she'll like and walk past scenic landmarks and interesting shops you look worldly and thoughtful.

Lawrence loves food–especially guy favorites like burgers, BBQ, and pizza. Read more from Lawrence on his blog NYC Food Guy, where he seeks out and reviews the best food in New York for your taste buds and your wallet.