“Chick flick.” Two words that strike fear into the heart of any man. Next to “shoe shopping” or “I'm pregnant” there are arguably no two words more likely to lead a man to a heart attack or self-inflicted wounds. Women are truly God's Rubix Cube and we can never hope to fully understand them no matter how many episodes of “Sex in the City” we force ourselves to sit through. But do not fear, men, there is hope yet.
Believe it or not, there are actually some “chick flicks” out there that aren't half bad. Some of you may have already seen one or two of these, but I am here to tell you that if you play your cards right you can get through your whole life without ever having to see a crappy “chick flick” ever again (well, okay, at least not for a little while). If you take heed you can navigate your way through the high pitched screams, unwarranted sobbing, longing sighs, and actually find some pretty good movies out there.
Here are five to get you started.
5. Bend it Like Beckham
This movie has a lot working against it from the get go… especially if you are an American male. One – The whole movie is about soccer. Two – It's about girls playing soccer. Three – It is about girls, playing soccer, in England. But this movie does have one thing: heart. It doesn't quit and it is able to overcome all of these obstacles before it's over and without the help of a locker room shower scene. And that's before you even mention two very attractive lead “footballers” in Keira Knightly (Alright, she's only 17 in this movie but she's older now so it's okay…right?) and Parminder Nagra (of “E.R.” fame…that show is still on?). Throw in a few funny lines, a good story, and lots of sports sequences (soccer is a sport after all) and Bend It Like Beckham actually ends up being one “chick flick” you should make it through with flying colors, or as the Brits say, colours.
4. Legally Blonde
Oh. My. God. I already know what you're thinking, and no, I'm not gay. But before you pass judgment maybe you should let me pitch you this movie from the man's point of view. First off, if you have been unlucky enough to have a lady obsessed with the musical, you have my sympathy and you may find comfort in the fact that the movie is far less obnoxious and actually pretty clever. Legally Blonde is a well made, funny movie, and if Beckham had attractive ladies the girls in this film are super models. Plenty of eye candy and a surprising amount of non-gender specific laughs Legally Blonde is a fun movie and she will no doubt get so excited when you claim to like it, you may not even need to watch it. **Warning** I do endorse Legally Blonde but under no circumstances should you agree to watch its sequel Legally Blonde Two: Red, White, & Blonde. A movie so painfully bad you may never fully recover, I haven't.
3. Love Actually
Yes, it's corny. Yes, it's sappy. And yes, I really do like this movie. Maybe it is the connection with Christmas (A.K.A. the most magical day of the year, sorry Festivus) or maybe it is just the use of The Beach Boys' “God Only Knows” (One of my favorite songs of all time), but this movie has some sort of irresistible appeal that makes you smile. It is a little hokey and the plot isn't very deep, but it's fun, and if this movie doesn't get her in the mood for some romance then you may want to take her to the hospital, because she's probably dead.
2. Le Fabuleux destin d'Amelie Poulain
Known simply as “Amelie” by most people. I want to say right out that this is without a doubt the best movie on this list. This French film from 2002 was nominated for five Oscars and is a fun, inventive, and even exciting story about a shy French woman living in Paris. If she isn't in love with this movie already she is guaranteed, GUARANTEED to love it after the first five minutes and you will too if you don't mind reading subtitles. (If you do get over it because you are robbing yourself of some great movies, learn to read!)
When this movie first came out in 1995 I was only nine years old so I didn't have much of an opinion on it but if I had been older I, like you, probably would have thought, “No way in hell I'm ever seeing that piece of crap.” But hold on now, if you haven't caught it on basic cable by now you should know, this movie is really, honestly and truly, funny. I know guys, heterosexual guys, who count this among their favorite movies. This movie is a high school comedy on the level of Fast Times at Ridgemont High and Dazed and Confused. It's got a very good cast with a very hot 19-year-old Alicia Silverstone, a pre-“Scrubs” Donald Faison, and the always witty Paul Rudd. You are sure to be shocked at how much you like this movie but don't take my word for it, see it, your lady is sure to have already many, many times.
- Breakfast at Tiffany's – Oldie but classic film. Not much else to say.
- Chicago – If you can take a musical go for it, she probably loves em' all and this is one of the best in recent years.
- America's Sweethearts – Notting Hill or Four Weddings and Funeral with John Cusack instead of Hugh Grant. A very funny supporting turn by Hank Azaria and one hell of a cameo by Christopher Walken make this thing a sure thing.