Just like everything in life, your experience is based on how you perceive things. If you convince yourself a series of events in a day are shitty, you have a shitty day. If you take things in stride and learn to not dwell on the negative, your life will be better overall.
Another way I like to think about it is questioning what an emotion really is. What is anger? Two people standing next to each other experience the same tragic event. A boss yelling at them, a friend saying something hurtful, etc. The first person becomes incredibly angry and can feel the fire building up in their chest. Tthey carry it around with them all day, taking it out on someone else or fall in to a deep funk. The second person takes it in stride; they understand the boss is just feeling pressure from his boss, or the friend didn’t actually mean the comment to be hurtful. They may not be excited about what has just happened, but they’re not angry.
In this way, we control everything about our lives. If you get laid off you can choose to be anxious, depressed, and scared. You can also choose to think of it as a new beginning, a rare opportunity in life to reboot. Which of these choices leads to a happier life?
And just like these other emotions, fear is no different. When you take a step back, everything in life comes down to fear. We don’t break up with a girl that we’re over because we’re not sure if we’ll find something better. We don’t quit our jobs and pursue our passions because we’re afraid it won’t work out. We don’t introduce ourselves to that cute girl because we’re afraid she might not respond favorably.
Everything in life that creates anxiety is caused by being afraid – but you choose whether or not you’re going to respond to a situation with fear just as we choose to remain calm in a stressful one.
If you choose NOT to be scared, to not allow fear to take over your mind, to not let the “what-if’s” control your actions, you will not be afraid. And once you’re done being afraid, you can do anything.
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