Today, we hear a lot about “accountability” both in and outside of Christendom. In fact, accountability is spoken of so much that generally speaking, many individuals understand it as an abstract idea or occurrence. However, accountability emerges from a strong rapport and depth of relationship. I marvel when I hear individuals say, “hey, we are going to get together Saturday, because the brothers need accountability.” Far too often, “men’s meetings,” “the brothas’ hooking up” is characterized by a lack of safety, transparency, sizing each other up or projecting images at each other. Other times men’s meetings are so planned out that the opportunity for organic connections is impossible.

Accountability apart from a strong rapport and depth of relationship is really not accountability, but rather policing!

When we drive over the speed limit and are pulled over by law enforcement we don’t necessarily have a “relationship” with the officer, but the officer is surely holding us accountable for the law. What I think is even more profound is that the law for which the individual is being held accountable, he or she most likely did not have a hand in establishing or really ever committed to it. Programs, events, commitments and pacts established and imposed on us is a sure way to ensure mediocrity or worse failure. The notion of accountability outside of relationship ensures that men will be less transparent with each other, feel unsafe and be forced to project an image that is ideal rather than reality. These false environments are not conducive to growth, maturity and true success. Commitments, pacts, events, which emerge out of the relational process have the strength to stand because it has been built with characteristics like consensus, agreement, inclusive contribution, mutuality, to name a few.