Primer Magazine

One of the most pretentious things I see in bars is when people order a glass of wine. Don’t get me wrong, wine is great when paired with a nice meal, or when relaxing after a long day, however it is not a bar drink.

Social drinking after college can be a difficult thing, you don’t want to be pounding PBRs with your co-workers, but you don’t want to look like the pompous jerk either.

So what’s a guy to do? First we need to look at college drinks, since you don’t know where you’re going until you know from whence you came.

College Beer Selection

PBR was always a solid choice. So was stale Miller Lite, Bud Light, or pretty much any light beer that was on special and could be drunk in high volume.

What it says about you

I’m here to get sloppy drunk. I’m cheap. And I could care less what the swill I’m drinking tastes like.

College Mixed Drink Selection

Vodka and club, whiskey and Coke, gin and tonic. All three will get you to the desired result, all three also lack a name brand alcohol. That’s because you were drinking “well liquor” (that is, the cheapest, dirtiest, made in a bathtub booze that even fake money can buy.)

What it says about you

I’m here to get sloppy drunk. I’m cheap. And I could care less what the swill I’m drinking tastes like.

College Liquor Selection

Shots with names like “Kamikaze,” “Snake Bite,” and “Mind Eraser.” Occasionally mixed in with some sort of a bomb.

What it says about you

This one’s a little different. If you’re going at it this hard you probably had a bad day, broke up with your girlfriend, or failed an exam (that you were too busy to study for because you were shotgunning PBRs in a basement that you’ll never find your way back to).

Now that we covered the blackout inducing college drinks, it’s time to move on to something better. Drinks for men who can drink like men. This means not vomiting in alleyways (sorry boys).

A Man’s Social Beer

Any kind of regional beer is usually a good choice. I personally prefer Hoegaarden or Moosehead. Fat Tire is popular with a lot of guys. I find these to be sipping beers that are enjoyed rather than pounded and the flavors to be more refined.

What it says about you

Beer can be a tricky one to navigate. If I go out with a group of guys and one of them orders a totally obscure beer I’ve never heard of, it usually raises some question. He might be a beer snob or just picky. Chances are he would prefer a glass of wine and discussing Dostoyevsky. My advice is to go with something on tap, and it’s easier on the wallet.

A Man’s Social Mixed Drink

If whiskey is your drink of choice, you can ditch the Coke and just order it straight up. Johnny Walker Black Label is a great drink to enjoy, if you can handle it. Another drink to consider is the martini, disregarding the fact that Sex and the City made it seem like a woman’s only drink.

What it says about you

Drinking scotch can say one of two things, either you: watch too much Mad Men and you’re trying to be Don Draper, or you’re a degenerate alcoholic who’s just trying to get hammered. As long as you sip your drink slowly, the latter won’t be an issue. As for the former, Don Draper is badass, so go for it.

Martinis can be trickier to navigate. Try ordering them with a top-shelf vodka with some olives for taste. If you handle yourself like a man, nobody will give you a hard time for it. For more on martinis, check out our guide to uncovering the martini.

You may have noticed that shots for men were left out, and that’s because there is no place for shots in the social drinking world of men. The only time you should be pounding down shots at the bar at this point is if it’s after 10 o’clock at night and you’re not out with coworkers. However, if you’re just out for some post-work drinks with some of the guys from the office, try to keep it classy. Of course, you could always sneak a shotgunned Busch Light in the bathroom when they’re not looking to get your fix.