When your fiancé tells you she’s only wearing sexy underwear on your honeymoon if you do — what skivvies would you reach for?
Dear Fellow Primer Readers,
Please help me. I’m getting married in a few months and the wifey and I started making plans for the honeymoon. We want to make it a particularly sexy experience which is a bit of a challenge for a modern couple. So, the first thing we did was cut each other off.
No more luvin’ till after the big day. But that’s not my problem…
Since we are living together, I know her underwear reserve pretty well. Now I don’t want to sell her short. There ARE a COUPLE of items in her collection that have a certain aesthetic appeal, but most of her stuff is pretty… utilitarian. Also… not the problem…
But when I started bothering her about wanting to see something more elaborate on the honeymoon she turned it back on me: “I’ll wear sexy underwear if YOU wear sexy underwear.” Now I’m no feminist, but we treat each other as equals in this relationship and frankly it seems like a reasonable request. Why shouldn’t she expect me to look appealing in my skivvies on our honeymoon?
I’d never really considered the sorry state of my own underwear collection but now that I do… I’m realizing some of my underwear is downright threadbare. I can only think of 2 or 3 pairs that don’t have any unintentional holes somewhere and the sexiest it gets is a nice pair of black ‘exofficio’ boxer-briefs I picked up at REI for my trip to Haiti. I got ‘em cause they dry-out fast if you need to wash them in the sink.
I tried to solve the problem the way I solve all problems these days, with a quick Google search.
“Sexy Underwear for Dudes” (Click)
Well, that was one part horrifying and one part depressing. If I were flamboyant and/or cut like a Greek god it would be fine. But what is a modern — 10-15 lbs overweight, not quite tan, marginally hairy legged — man to do? I’m not in bad shape, but I’ve got some serious love handles, and I’m not Robbin Williams hairy, but I’m not about to shave my happy trail either.
Now it wouldn’t be too difficult to grab a couple brand new pairs of solid color boxer-briefs and call it a day, but i know if she went out and just got a couple new pairs of comfortable panties I would be more than a little disappointed.
I guess my question is where is the middle ground?
And what would look decent on me?A slightly overweight chick in a lacy thong, is still a chick in a lacy thong, but a chubby hairy dude in a shear banana hammock… at best that’s hysterical, at worst vomit inducing!
Help me find a middle ground Primer!