Don’t Be That Guy: 6 Stereotypical Guys You Don’t Want To Be

Don’t be that guy. Everyone hates THAT guy. Check in and make sure you haven’t unintentionally picked up any habits from these six SOB’s.

Inevitably, anytime I’m out in public I get annoyed by some part of the rest of humanity. Maybe it’s because I’m too easily irritated (I am) or maybe it’s because I’m neurotic (also true) but people just bother me. Above all else, there are 6 types of people that come off as total jackasses no matter what the situation or who the observer is.

“I Make $XXXXX a year” Guy

I’m not particularly bitter about people making a lot of money, in most cases they deserve it. It does become a problem when you walk around and flaunt it, not in terms of style of dress or type of car, but by straight up saying how much you make a year.

I can’t quite understand why anyone would be impressed by this type of behavior, maybe people do it to meet women, but what type of woman does that attract? If she’s only interested in your paycheck then there probably isn’t a lot of potential for a long-term relationship. Then again, if all you have to talk about is how much you make, you don’t have much going on for yourself either.

Bluetooth Guy

I understand and acknowledge that Bluetooth earpieces are a vital piece of equipment for communicating on your commute. They’re incredibly useful and very handy when you’re driving. When you’re in a bar or any type of social setting, they’re rendered useless. If it’s so imperative that you be in constant communication, maybe you shouldn’t be slamming beers in a noisy bar. Wearing a Bluetooth in a place where other people are socializing is completely unnecessary.

Sunglasses Inside Guy

I’ll be the first to admit that I am occasionally guilty of this kind of douchebaggery. Sometimes when it’s sunny out and you just need to run in to a building for 5 seconds I think it’s acceptable to keep your sunglasses on. However, if it’s nighttime, raining, or you’re inside for more than a minute, you just look like a jerk.

Sunglasses are definitely a must-have fashion accessory, but save them for the beach and not for your Saturday night date at the movies.

Texting/BBM/Emailing Guy

If you’re too busy to put down your phone for a few hours and socialize, it’s probably something that should be handled in a quiet office or at home. I can accept that things come up, but if it requires 45 minutes of your undivided finger-pressing attention then it should probably be handled over the phone.

Maybe you could put on your Bluetooth and take a call in the corner of a bar, yelling “I can’t hear you” so that everyone else around you can recognize that you are completely devoid of any redeeming qualities.

No Ambition Guy

What’s that? You’re working part-time as a pizza delivery boy and you’re totally cool with it because it “gives (you) a chance to do what I want, man.” That’s great, but please don’t tell me about how great it is to be able to wake-up at 4 in the afternoon and play PS3 and tell me how much I suck for having to work all day.

I get that you’re happy with your lot in life, just don’t lecture me about how I’m living it the wrong way, and I won’t do the same to you. And no, you can’t borrow ten bucks for weed, I know you won’t pay me back.

Anti-social Guy

Also see: Bitchy Internet Writer Guy. When you’re in a social situation, if you’re spending all your time with your arms crossed looking miserable, it might be better to just call it a day and head home. In all likelihood you feel like everyone around you isn’t as smart as you, and they’re all acting like total idiots.

Perhaps I’m being a little harsh, I probably fall into some of these categories from time to time, I’m guessing most people do. That’s fine, it’s an occasional behavior, not a character trait. But for the love of god, don’t let it become habitual behavior.

AC currently lives in New Jersey.

  • http://www.musicaloozings.blogspot.com Lorin Wilkerson

    Ha ha. Great article. It’s funny to see (as you mentioned) which categories I occasionally fall into. Wearing sunglasses inside? Check. Gotta disagree that everyone who does this is an asshole…lots of people have light sensitivity to varying degrees (like me.) Usually though if I’m wearing inside it’s someplace really, really bright, and my eyes are watery from staring at a goddamned computer screen all week. Hell, sometimes I even wear shades in my own house (the front room is soooo bright on a summer eve even with shades drawn.) Plus, what if someone’s fucked up on drugs and doesn’t want everyone to know? I think there are a multitude of reasons why someone would choose to wear shades indoors.

    Anti-social angry internet writer…sometimes. Pretty good at checking out of the situation (or not going in the first place) when that mood strikes me. Sometimes, people suck. I mean everyone.

    No ambition guy? I wish. Those were the good old days..can’t wait for retirement so I can get back to it.

    As for the other types, I couldn’t agree more.

    Great article; very funny.

  • http://www.manvsstyle.com Schmidty – Man Vs. Style

    If someone has to say they make $XXXX per year then they dont. If people are truely rich then they dont need to say anything at all and their actions will say it for themselves.