Hullo!? We were all taught as children to lift the lid: this is the obvious solution. There’s no need to sit on something of highly questionable cleanliness just to avoid making it worse. Just lift the lid. Simple. Effective.

@Eric:
“Urinals are built to contain the splatter.” You must live somewhere with better-designed urinals than I’ve ever seen, because virtually every one I’ve used seems like it was designed by angry feminists to extract some minor revenge against men by forcing them to pee all over themselves. No, where I’ve lived (Chicago, Michigan, D.C.), the urinals are designed to *deflect* the splatter.

Also, there is splatter when you pee sitting down, too, it’s just that much of it gets all over you. If you want to pee on yourself, be my guest. But I prefer to avoid that.

2. I hate people that whistle incessantly in the bathroom.

3. I also hate people that talk and want to make conversation in the bathroom, especially when it’s “Did you see that report I left on your desk?” Well, I’m kind of peeing right now, so no, not yet.

4. If I am in the bathroom and there’s a rush of people, I will sit in the stall and wait until everyone clears out. I prefer silence, space and privacy.

5. I hate people that also bring in coffee cups and set them on the sink while they do their business, those that think that the bathroom is their own and brush/floss, and those that feel no pang of guilt re: not flushing their shit.

Oh, also, there should be some kind of unspoken buffer rule. There’s no need to play footsy with a guy from the adjacent pisser when there’s an entire row of vacant heads.

Just take care of business, people.

If you’re going to piss standing up there is going to be splatter, you’re not a superhuman piss champion. Urinals are built to contain the splatter. Do you want to sit in someone else’s splattered piss? Didn’t think so, sit the fuck down.